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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hi People, this has been bothering me for a good while but, funnily enough, it never occurred to me to post here about it. Ok, here goes: I posted a while back about my friend who is recovering from heroin addiction and is currently stabilized on methadone. She is doing much better in her life since I met her again (about two months ago). I've been encouraging her to do different things to make her life better and I'm very pleased to say there was no need for any type of pressure or nagging from me. All she needs is a bit of suggestion and she's off ready and willing to make things better for herself. She's starting college in September and is currently doing a five week starter course to prepare her for that. It's a two year full time course in art and design. I went to the open day with her and we checked the whole place out and we were both delighted with it. Now she goes there every day and does be disappointed when it comes time to go home!

She's also been to the dentist and got veneers on her teeth, which had been destroyed by the drugs; that had really done a lot to lower her confidence. She had been paranoid about smiling in company for years, so that's a hugely positive thing for her. Now here's the problem part: my bf has an attitude that's really starting to get on my nerves. He doesn’t want me having anything to do with her because she is a recovering addict, which is crazy to me, as I am a recovering addict, as he fully well knows. He makes a distinction between my former cocaine addiction and her former heroin addiction.:dizzy: He maintains that she is still a junkie because she is on methadone. No matter how much I've tried to explain what methadone does, he does not want to hear it. He does not accept that methadone is administered simply to stop her going into withdrawals. It has exactly the same function that nicotine patches have in treating nicotine addiction, in that it's a drug replacement therapy, (in case there's anyone reading this who dosent know much about methadone.)

He has a cold aloof attitude around her, and always excuses himself from her presence asap. He's dropped me to her door numerous times, but never once come in for a cup of tea. She's not stupid and she's starting to get the hint, and that's the last thing I want, because she's been though so much in her young life. Yes, she has a long way to go, she has to go to rehab and learn to live independent of that poisonous crap, but I can see her getting better before my eyes and I really dont want her confidence knocked at this point.

He made a comment to me recently that I found very offensive. He referred to people stabilized on methadone as "them people". My friend has discussed with me the horrible ways she has been treated in society because of her addiction. It really is bothering me that he holds these negative attitudes towards her. No amount of talking to him is getting me anywhere. What can I do???





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