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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=willie040;3045524]not sure if this is something appropriate, but im gonna give an update of my situation and my whole new bag of issues. had been about 10 days since i cut off contact with the new girl trying to repair with the old, and i caved. sent her a text. somethign happened with my career (good news) and it was something her and i had talked about several times. didnt [U]need[/U] to tell her, but i guess it gave me an excuse. the almost 10 days we didnt talk, i might have thought about her more than when we did talk. really thought about her a lot. everyday. thought about my life with her. we talked on the phone that same day, and she feels the same about me. i dont know which i am more afraid of, losing the girl i have been with for so long, or living with the fact that i might pass up on the new girl because im scared. i told the new girl we still cant talk because i need to figure things out. we havent spoken in a day, but my question is, what if i continue to think about the new girl for weeks or months? maybe she is a better fit for me and just kind of highlighted the things i dont like about my current relationship. things that i just got used to over time. still love my girlfriend, but this is really starting to get to me. what if i pass up in somethign amazing, something "better", to play it safe? (hate that i just used the word better) sorry about all the what "ifs," but im just frustrated and scared. any advice??[/QUOTE]

You said you still love your girlfriend.....I must say please dont be that little puppy looking into the stream with his steak in his mouth and see another puppy there and want that one too and then open his mouth to grab it and loose the one he has.....

Before I read your last post I was going to tell you that if you and girlfriend are meant to be something will bring you back together if you decide to break up. (example: I dated a man 25 when I was 17 many things happen and dad got involved but I stopped talking to him...I married the first guy that asked me just so i can get out of my house....I loved my husband i really did..he made me laugh so much and we got along well except for his childish behavior which was the death of our marriage after our son was born...I cared for my exboyfriend so much that I wanted to name my son after him(his initials), finally named him something that was reverse. when i left my ex i didnt think about the boy i cared for, i was a bitter girl and well life wasnt easy with growing up so when 25 yr old was there 7months after i left exhusband i did everything i could to sabotage our relationship but he kept coming back saying that he loved me...I didnt know what i was feeling, i realized that it was love and fell in love with him..it was the real deal and the only one i needed to be with. Of course there are men that are out there and handsome and stuff but my man is all i need, It has been 16 yrs since we dated the first time, 11 yrs together and 7 of those years married and we have a total of 4 kids(3 are his).)

Now that i have said that , i will say this...I read your very last post and you say you still love your girlfriend.....You need to find out if this is infatuation and that leads to guilt. Another poster had said to follow your heart..well i think you should but i fear that you are following those butterflies that are in your tummy with the thought of something new and exciting. Please think about this long and hard. What does B have that A doesnt. Is she cuter, is she stronger? Is she meaner or nicer? Is she a bad girl or a nice girl....something opposite of what you are use to?

I must say as a woman that pursuing a man that is in a relationship for 4 yrs is just poor judgement on her part. BECAUSE if you can do that to your current girlfriend what makes this other girl think you wont do it to her? She might like the thrill of it or the curiosity of it, since you have not had sex with her she might want to see how it feels with a taken man.

Also what makes you think she is the real deal? Do you know her well enough or better than your current girlfriend to think that if you break up with your girlfriend that this other girl wont just dump you? Man say oh yes we know but then wind up licking their wounds later on kicking themselves in the arse sayiing wow i should have seen that coming. I dont have her or my ex girlfriend.

Think hard young man . I do not know how old you are. But you need to see yourself with these women when you are 30,40,50,60...where will they be with your kids or animals, where will they be if you are ill?

good luck





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