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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hi everyone. I've gotten good advice here before and am in need of some opinions again.

First off, let me say I have known my boyfriend since first grade. We are about to graduate high school and have been together for a year and a few months. He is a great guy - handsome, sweet, and funny. In the beginning of our relationship, he was so attentive to making me happy and being with me as much as he could. Now, its not like that at all.

Around 4 months into the relationship, we started to fight quite a bit. The fights have subsided and increased on and off. They are always over petty things that should not be fought over. Somehow, our relationship kept growing stronger despite them and we became more and more in love.

Now, it seems that he is too busy for me. I confronted him about it yesterday telling him that it seemed like I was last place. He only calls me to hang out if no one else is doing anything. I said it feels like I'm nothing more than a girl that only has the title of "girlfriend" to him. I feel like I'm on the bottom of his list. I'm not a priority.

He is also becoming sort of psycho in my opinion. He has always tried to tell me which way to drive when we're going somewhere in our town, but if I dont, he gets angry. He calls me the worst driver and tells me I'm dumb and I need to listen to him. I purposefully go different directions now just to prove to him that he cant control me. That makes him even more mad. Last weekend, he wanted me to parallel park in a TINY spot on a busy street. I said I didnt want to since cars would come and it was almost impossible to fit my car in it. He screamed "Why dont you ever f****** listen to me?!" I dropped him off, went home, and cried about how mean he was. He came over and cried and said he was sorry for yelling at me like that. Last night I brought up how psycho he was and he got all crazy on me again - yelling and telling me I'm dumb for not listening to him. Just the other day, he got mad that I accidentally took the wrong street to go somewhere. As if there was no other way to get there.

I was crying hard on the phone with him last night because I was very hurt. Usually he would try to comfort me or come over, but he continued to say mean things. That he was not coming over to make me feel better, that he didnt think anything he said was mean, that I cry too much, that he wanted to take a break from me for the night and go out and have fun with his friends. He played poker all night and was able to forget about this fight and how hurt I was.

I told him that I promised to do everything in my power to make our relationship work through college (we're going to different colleges) next year and that it was because I wanted it to work badly. I asked him if he felt the same and all he could reply was "Are we married? I'm not answering that. I dont have to. I answer it all the time". Thing is, he never answers it and he cant even be hopeful about it.

I just feel so lonely now. He abandoned me and our relationship last night and cant find the time to spend time with me. I said we shouldnt spend time together this weekend because I have a lot of finals to study for and so I can give him space. Do you think this is something we can overcome with time?





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