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[QUOTE=Lance0204;3027234]i absolutely do NOT agree with that. i think that's part of the problem these days. no one wants to spend the time really really getting to know someone. you meet someone, feel sexual attraction and you "think" its "chemsitry". you quickly hook up and within a few months or even a yr, the relationship ends once you "really" get to know the person when in fact, that's around the time you should have been making the decision about them. its unrealistic to expect instant attraction and chemistry. i once had an experience several yrs ago where i actually developed feelings for someone after knowing them for close to 2 yrs. in the beginning when we first met there was no attraction whatsover; i thought she wasn't my "type". after being friends and discovering each other for a while something changed. funny how that works. what's wrong with being friends first?? everyone that found themselves successful marriages have said that this is how it started for them. there might be something to this method don't you think?? :angel:[/QUOTE]


I think this situation is a little different, and that's what's so tricky about online dating. Sometimes, some people go into it with the idea of just meeting new people and seeing what happens, but most of the time,the chemistry, or the "spark" has to be there or people just won't follow through. I've only had one relationship in my life and even though we met as friends, it moved to dating and love pretty quickly. there was very very strong chemistry. I suppose it can be something that can grow over time, even though I've never personally experienced just being friends with someone and then just waking up two years later and suddenly feeling that I wanted more. but with online dating there's really no way to do that, especially if he's already making dating plans months in advance. He's already in it for the long haul, in a romantic way, and sometimes when guys want to hurry up and establish a romantic situation quickly, it has the opposite effect on the woman. A friendship could perhaps have developed between these two people, but I have a feeling he's not going to let it. He wants to be her boyfriend, and he wants it now. I knew a guy like that once. We worked together on a project, not work related, sort of social I guess, but we weren't romantically connected at all, though he made it clear he wanted to be. I made it clear it was only friendship and work, but he wouldn't listen, and kept treating me like a girlfriend, walking around on eggshells around me, which really irritated me, insisting I come over for dinner or to buy me drinks if we all went to a club or something, and he would try to put his arm around my waist and tickle my side or pat my knee, and that made me want to punch him in the face. He never let a friendship grow because he was too busy treating me like a thing he was trying to conquor, rather than a person he was trying to get to know. Even his being "nice' to me had an ulterior motive, and it just made me furious. He ended up breaking the promise he made to me, the reason why I was hanging out with him in the first place, the project, and it turned out he really had no intention of doing what I though we were all trying to do in thefirst place, so I broke off all contact. He was just using the project as a ruse to keep me hanging around. I get the feeling this guy would probably do the same thing if she tried to establish a "friendship" first. He's dead set on becoming her boyfriend, and that seems to be job one with him, even more than making her feel comfortable and at home around him, being her friend, or getting to know her.





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