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Hello,

I am really in a jam and hope that someone can help me sort out my mess. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 months. I took him into my home, bought a second car so that he could use my blazer, let him use my phone and have been supporting him all this time.

He got a job for a few weeks but was laid off again. Now he just started another job on Monday. In fairness, he's given me some money whenever he has got it to help with bills but it did not cover the extra expeneses that running a two person household rather than a single household costs. So I got a second job. I've been working 72-80 hours a week to get out of debt and support us both.

Now I admit, I've been grouchy and our sex life has diminished because I only get to sleep 3 hours on the days that I work both jobs. But I don't believe the treatment I am receiving in warranted.

I am a woman, not a child and I have a right to a healthy environment. I know this but for some reason he's playing these games with me and I refuse to play back.

First, he is always thinking of himself. No matter how much I do for him and no matter that I can't buy anything for myself, he expects me to put his needs first. He obsesses about his problems, little gas in the car, no food in the house, needs new tools, needs new boots for work, etc... That is all he talks about to me. Now working two jobs I still can not provide those things for myself, but I try to do them for him so that he stops b!tch!ng. This is what got me in debt in the first place, I overextended myself.

Anyhow, on Tuesday I took his minute phone because he prefers to have my phone because it has unlimited minutes and I have my work phone that I can use during the daytime. I had to unexpected go to secretary of state for work business and it just happend that his new job was on the way. I didn't stop in because he's new and I wouldn't want to jeopardize his new job, but I did call just to say I was driving by and find out if he needed anything. I called with his minute phone, he didn't answer so I thought I hung up. I threw the phone back in my purse and continued driving to secretary of state.

Appearantly the message was blank, static and background nose. He somehow picked out of that me saying god (he assumed it was oh god) me moaning supposedly and so guy saying that I was a dirty girl. So now I am sleeping with a guy in the middle of the secretary of state office. He played the message to his friends and had them at my house when I came home. He had his stuff packed and he even told his Grandmother that I was sleeping with another guy and accidentally called him in the process. He called my boss and asked her if I was at work. He's accusing me of cheating on him when all I did was go to the secretary of state at 3 in the afternoon. I can assure you all I did no such thing and it's completely ludacris that he would say these things about me.

Now this morning he was telling me that I have to show him copies of my midnight work schedule. He asked me why I called my midnight supervisor at 5:45am. I was working and needed him to punch me out because my relief was there and I didn't want to drive out of the way back to the office and do it myself. I was tired.

I am really tired of him being so concerned with himself and ignoring my needs. I can't communicate with him at all. Every time I try to relay my feelings he gets defensive and we fight. So I stopped telling him how I feel. He just interrupts anyhow and tells me that he doesn't know how he's going to get to work next week because he doesn't have gas.

I know I put up with him using me and ignoring my feelings, but now he is flat out disrespecting me. I told him to go ahead and leave if this is how the relationship is going to be. Since he already has his suitcases packed why not. He won't. He says he wants to work on it, but he's still acting as if I cheated on him. I am furious and just want him to stay away from me.

How would you react in the situation? I odn't understand why he's doing this to me, all I've ever done was be there for him through thick and thin. But this time I don't know if I can hold it together. I feel like I am going insane and when I am around him and his anger I feel like cutting myself. (I used to have a problem with this but it's been over ten years before I acted on it a few weeks back in one of our arguements). I feel like I am losing my mind. He's making crazy accusations and then taking a bunch of pills (12 mg xanex yesterday). He even told me that he called his uncle so that he could get a gun and shoot the guy I was having an affair with. There is no guy, so who's he going to shoot me?

I am so confused, this is not normal or healthy. Someone please help me feel sane again. I need some encouragement.

Thanks and Kind Regards,

jkitty





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