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Well i've been wanting to post about this for some while now.. but I couldn't find the courage to write it all out.. i've never done that before..

My mom, step dad, and baby brother moved to Washington in October '05. They lived here in California with us, her family.

My problem is I miss my mom and brothers terribly. She ended up having another baby when she moved to WA. They are 1 and 2 years old.

After they left I went through a very depressed state. but I met my now boyfriend and I wasn't depressed anymore-or for the time being. But now I still get those waves of depression, and I just break down and cry. I thought by now i'd be okay with them gone...... but it's worse then when they left.

She left when I was 21 years old. I'm now turning 24 this year.

I kinda feel abandoned in a way.. and also my real dad ended up moving to WA with his new wife too. Kinda weird. SO yeah i'm totally parentless it feels like. At least I have my uncle and grandma that I love more than anything.. but that won't make up for my mom and brothers..

When I see pictures of my brothers I just cry. They are so cute and I never get to see them. I was the only child for 21 years then when I get some brothers ... their gone.

I feel so incomplete without them all. I don't know how to ever feel complete again?

Is it normal that I still cry and get sooooo upset because I can't be with my brothers or mom? I can cry right now...I just want to know how to deal with it really.....??

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