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My boyfriend does not like large group gatherings because he's not a very social guy. 90% of the time it doesn't bother me because we've been together awhile and tend to do things on our own. But every now and then I want him to come with me when I meet up with friends at a bar or something (I'm talking 5-7 friends meeting up). He never comes.

I know it's not because he doesn't like my friends since he doesn't even know them that well. But he's not really willing to give them a try since he's not social. I don't want to change him but it makes me a little sad when I go out and am meeting the significant others' of my friends and he's not there. I've tried to talk to him about it and he said he just doesn't like group meetings. And the few times he does come with me, he just stands there VERY quiet... maybe says one or two words max.

Any suggestions?
This could be a worry in the future. It is not unreasonable of you to want him to socialise with friends. I am sure he is just shy, but watch out for any pressure on his part for you to avoid your friends. Does he have friends of his own? Does he have anything in common with your friends? I mean, eg are they noisy boisterous party people? That may be hard on a shy person. The point is, that it would be easy to fall in with this and lose your friends, and isolate yourself. Don't let that happen. Cheers, Sera
I agree with the previous poster that this could be a real problem in the future. It's one thing to be shy, but does he have any friends of his own? I have a friend who married a guy like this. She had to force him to come out to group settings, in which he could go entire evenings without speaking. Their marriage is not doing so well right now and she admits that a large part of it is that she feels so isolated with him.

Maybe you could start small, with just you and another couple going out. If he has a friend of his own, maybe that friend can arrange to meet you all out so that he has someone there that's also new to the group. At the very least, you can talk to him about this and ask him if he's happy with the way things stand. Chances are it's hard for him and maybe something he would like to change about himself.
I can see this being a small problem in the future, but not really a deal breaker. He never says no when I want to go out so he's not restrictive. I think your idea of starting small is a good one. He can meet one friend first and then when he feels comfortable I can bring him to a larger group outing, that way he'll already know one person. And also I can suggest he bring a friend of his as well.

He does have friends, but they're all from work. And they all have lives of their own on the weekends. He socializes with his co-workers during the week so it's not like all he has in the world is me. It's the weekends that I'm worried about.





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