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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I am so confused right now - there are so many factors playing on my situation I would really appreciate some advice!

My dating history is short - one guy for 8 months over 4 years ago. The next guy after that I dated for a week and lost my virginity to. And so I wasn't expecting to meet anyone else since I had been single for 4 years. I recently moved to another state 1000 miles away from where I grew up and lived my whole life (i'm 22) and 3 weeks before I left, I met a guy.

We crammed all these fun dating activities into those 3-3 1/2 weeks that I was home. After about the 4th date I felt so comfortable and close to him - we had sex and it felt right and it was amazing. I really wish I didn't have to move because he was a very genuine person to me.

The only problem is that he isnt this knight in shining armor that Ive always wanted to sweep me off my feet. I want to say that from being single for so long I narrowed down to a T the type of guy I wanted to meet. I didn't just want to date anyone. And I formed this "ideal person" because I want to date someone for a very long time, 4-7 years before we get married (because so many marriages fall apart nowadays and people turn into different people that the other one never thought possible!)

So everythings great - except that theres a major something missing and I think its the fact that physically he doesnt fit the guy I wanted. I wanted someone with brown hair, great smile, italian if possible (I'm italian/irish). I hear you tend to want to marry a man who is similar to your father if you have a good relationship with your father. I was thinking more along the lines of someone I could be hardcore attracted to and someone my family would love too. I also want someone who is just hands down handsome to me. Now I'm not aiming for a Brad Pitt lookalike - but I know who looks "hot" to me and who doesnt.

This guy is adorable, but I dont think that all the time. He worships me - he loves everything about me and has told me that if I lost 50 lbs or gained 50lbs he would still love everything about me. I rock his world, but he just doesnt quite do it for me.

I want to say that being apart doesn't help restore the faith in our relationship, and also the lack of physical attractiveness doesnt help either. I feel like I'm pushing myself away from him for no reason. I think about what is important in a marriage, and just because we're dating doesnt mean we have to get married but thats of course what my ultimate goal is. he would take care of me, he would do everything in his power to make me happy. i think he would make a great companion. and losing weight is something that he has control over. That would make me more attracted to him, but he is still a redhead and I'm not all that sure that I'm attracted to that.

I feel horrible that I'm being such a shallow person. I guess I'm having a hard time deciding if its worth it to stay with him because I'm young and marriage is far far down this road with him or with anyone, or break it off because im already in doubt. :dizzy:





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