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Erin, I completely relate to how you are feeling. If you can, read my new post, too.

I've been through a horrible breakup before, and am currently going through one right now, too. Last breakup there were many reasons, it had been going downhill for a while, and we had inescapable problems that were only accumulating and putting stress on us. So in that instance, it was the inevitable. And perhaps easier.

For this one, it was completely different. For a start, it was me that ended it, and not because I felt less, but rather because I felt more. I fell so hard and so intensely for this man, who, like my other ex, and like your situation, is six years older than me. A strange coincidence. He is all that I think about and all that I yearn for. It was only a few days ago that I ended it and the pain of this will be lasting and overwhelming. I am refusing to allow myself to contact him, I have to honour my decision. But I let him go because he wasn't able to commit to me right away after coming out of a long-term relationship that hurt him, and although our time together was nothing short of magical, at this time it could not be, and to ignore that is to destroy it. I finally realised that the only way to save us, was to let him go. I could not go on loving him and let it drag into something unrecognisable. In this moment, he is perfect. So I left, before jealousy, hatred and frustration could destroy all hopes of a future.

Like Lizzi, I am holding onto those dregs of possibility that there is a future in store for us - that the connection we had over our time together is enough to bring us back together when the time is right. That he will come to me, and offer that commitment that he is unable to give now, so fresh out of a breakup of his own. I just have to have faith, although in its own way, perhaps that faith is just as destructive.

"If you love something let it go. If it comes back its yours, if it doesn't it never was".

Be strong Erin, and Lizzi. We are in this together. It is so difficult when it seems like the only problem between two people is that there were NO problems. How can that be? It is so much harder to let go when the love is stronger than ever, and I think it takes so much more courage. Weaker women than yourselves would have grovelled or contacted or pleaded to have them back, and in doing so would have accepted being just a 'side-dish' while the man does whatever he wants and keeps her hanging. Be proud that you know you are worth so much more than that, and that for that reason, the man you miss holds you in high esteem, with full respect. He even told me that, in a message he wrote the night after:

"You have my utmost respect and I never regretted a second of our time. You are unique."





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