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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Jun 23, 2007
Well, I'll apologize as this could be long. I posted earlier about my boyfriend and I not being able to come to an agreement regarding having a child. He has two daughters with his ex-wife, and I have no children. We just bought a house together back in November and I always told him I'd be okay with no kids. Something has changed in me, though. I desperately want to have his child and be his wife. He keeps telling me that "someday" we'll get married, but keeps saying NO to having a kid (although we have unprotected sex all the time!!)
ANYHOW: New twist...
Last week, a group of us (about 30) had to go to a sales conference for work, on a chartered bus about 5 hours away from home. The group of co-workers that I went on this trip with are all a pretty close knit group. I decided to sit with my good friend "Joe," as he told me earlier in the week that he'd bring a portable DVD player and that we could watch movies on the way to our conference. I've been friends with "Joe" for two years now, he's a great guy, just recently married with a newborn at home. We often hang out together at work functions, joking around and just having fun together (purely innocent). He's a really fun guy and a great asset to our company, and he occasionally helps me out at work when I'm in need of assistance. Anyhow, we arrive at our destination and have to sit through a few hours of meetings before the "cocktail hour" and dinner. Of course, all of us salespeople take full advantage of the cocktail hour... The seating at dinner was pretty much open, each table seating 10 people, so our group took 3 tables in one section, and "Joe" and I sat together. We proceeded to get pretty hammered at dinner (not just him and I, but all of us), and our group took home top honors at the awards banquet, so all of us decide to continue celebrating at the hotel bar. I am not a big drinker, but trying to fit in as one of the guys, I totally overdid it. "Joe" brings my drunk *** up to my room, and we start fooling around. I barely remember what happened, only that after some serious making out, I told him that I didn't think it was right, as I love my BF and that he's a married man. He totally agreed and left my room. Next morning was kind of weird, but we ended up sitting with each other on the bus on the way back home. NEVER SPOKE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE.

Since then, we've texted each other quite a bit, not about anything serious, but stupid mundane things like what's going on at work, etc. I feel pretty guilty for having kissed him, and I haven't told my BF. And as much as I don't want anything to happen with me and "Joe," I still look forward to his text messages and running into him at work.

What does all of this mean? I never in a million years thought that I'd have any interest in anyone other than my BF, who I love dearly. Is it possible that I'm just feeling kind of down about my future with my BF, as it doesn't seem like he wants the same things that I do?? I feel horrible about what happened with me and "Joe," and I am not an adulterer...I have no plans for anything to happen on that front, but probably all the texting is not a good idea...

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