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Re: Hit me hard
Jun 25, 2007
Last wednesday, his band were playing at a gig. He was excited about it and was looking forward to me being there (he talks a lot, but his actions never correspond). However, the Thursday before, I wanted to see him as I was only 20mins away (I live just over an hour away from him) but he replied he wanted to go running but I was welcome to join/ watch him. I didnt want to do this as I had spent the entire day working. So I decided to go home.
On the Tuesday, the night before his gig, I messaged him "Im not coming to your gig tomorrow because I am going for a run." I didnt hear anything from him that evening. He mustve known it didnt mean anything, just a bitchy comment regarding his behaviour the last week. The next day, I was feeling as though I shouldnt have sent him that text (I should have let him off because of the pressure of his gig). So I waited for his call the entire day. Got nothing. Last minute, I got up, got ready and messaged him I couldnt not come and asked him where. Didnt get a response. So I found the place on the internet (this place is 1.5hour away from where I live. I haev to drive and take train). I call my friend to come with me. Eventually my bf txts me "dnt start messing me around" then I decided I wasnt going to go. Then I thought I had to because I was meant to be meeting his parents there. So I go. Txt him I was coming. He didnt call or text me. Then he starts sending short messages, cant remember, but remember them making me very angry. I was even reduced to tears on the train platform whilst I was waiting for my friend. My bf didnt know my friend was coming and i asked him "will you come meet me at the stattion- which is only 10mins away but i was going to be in the roughest part of london) and he replied no. when i got there, all he was doing was drinking and talking to his entire group of friends (about 30). he could have come to pick me up. his sound check had been complete. he didnt have money to buy my ticket or a drink. I was so mad. I had come all that way. I ignored him. Then his parents arrived. Then he took to stage. After his performance, I left and called him to say I was going. He asked me to stay (he said its early- does that count?) but didnt make a point of asking me to stay to meet his parents.
wouldnt a guy want his girlfriend to be there? he had been so looking forward to it. but as people say, talk but no action. my friend kept saying "id move heaven and earth to get my gf to my gig."
Few hours later, I got home so sad. Amongst the other crap that has been going on, the evening took its toll on me. I started crying (also very tired) and called him to say I culdnt take it anymore. He replied, look we know its not over, ill talk to you tomorrow. tomorrow he calls and i tell him i need time and spacce. he replies ok, call me when youre ready. i messaged him later explaining that i didnt want a few weeks later only to tell him i didnt want things to continue. he didnt believe me. he got cocky etc he isnt to blame, he doesnt understand why im so hurt etc. i ended up telling him to f*** o*** because he strarted to make angry, saying youll come back, you always do, youre not the centre of my universe, you know i wont call, so youll call, i dont chase. ( know he wont. when that other girl broke up with him after two months, he told me he was tearful and was waiting around for her to call because of what she told a friend of his, but he said he would never have called her- i dont want a manlike that. ew).
we exchange a few messages the next day. ended with us telling eachother to take care. he doesnt want the expensive birthday present i got him.

maybe he did all this to make sure I broke up with him.
I look over the last six months...sometimes after a mini break up, he'd come back, we would meet up and he would be so sweet. id take him back. only because i see the sweet side to him. i only see it then. then it goes back to boring normal non romantic rubbish. i break up...he becomes sweet again.

for the first time since last thursday, i want to talk to him. but there is no way i could pick up that phone. why do i even care. i dont even want to get back together. :(

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