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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hello,

Once again, with the same girl, I feel like the stomach has been pulled out of me. I posted back in December about this girl I really started to like...she seemed so into me, more than any girl I have dated has. She is so smart and has so much going for her in life, which made me so attracted to her. We never really had many deep conversations, it was more like partying at the bars and having a ton of fun together, but still hanging out when we were sober...a month into dating she asked me to be her "official" boyfriend. I reluctantly agreed, but still wanted to deep inside. Over the next month after we made it official, I grew to like her so much. I can admit that we were not necessarily so close where we felt we were "soul mates" or anything, but we had a great time together and I could see us becoming close. I feel that it was like this because we are both very set in our own ways and not very willing to open up to another person because we have both been single for a while now and are focused on ourselves...besides she is 21 and im 22.

Anyways, 2 months into our relationship, we both realize that it started to get awkward and we did not have much to say to each other at times when we hung out. I tried so hard to make her feel comfortable but it just seemed that she wasnt herself around me or felt that she couldnt be, and i felt the same way...so we agreed that we jumped into the relationship and needed to cool off and become friends first before anything....after that, 3 months go by where we barely talk, and I was totally bummed out. We would see each other in public here and there and have mutual friends, but never really any interaction besides a make out session at the bar one night.

Keep in mind that I never stopped having strong feelings for her all these three months that we diddnt really speak...I would always try to put myself in a situation where i would run into her, just to see what happened...and 3 months after we ended it, we started hooking up at the bar again and sleeping together. This is where it gets difficult for me...she began coming on very strong once again, with trying to hang out and be together totally out of the blue...2 weeks later I move accross the country and I am bummed, but I am going back at the end of the summer. Anyways, the texting and calling continue every day, and she even brings up how much she misses me, how things are different this time around because we are taking it slow...this goes on for roughly 2 months of summer...and we also met in vegas last month and had lets say a "long sexual night" actually the first and only time we were able to have sex due to shyness or too much liquor on my part where I am incapable of having sex. Then she books a trip out here to come visit me...like i said, coming on very strong, which I liked because i figured she was very much into me...well this past weekend is when she came out and things just seemed different in the middle of the weekend...we got along just fine, but we werent even kissing, touching or anything...it was the first time we spent numerous nights together or were together for 2 consecutive days which made us both feel awkward or scared I suppose...we did a lot of fun stuff, but she seemed kind of pissy the whole weekend, which confused the hell out of me...I even tried kissing her or initiating something with her, but we were outside all day in the sun, and she just said how gross she felt and diddnt resist my kiss but wouldnt relaly get into it. I suppose I turned the "hardass" switch on after that, and wasnt really a dick but was not too friendly after that...then i dropped her off to fly home, and have not heard from her for three days and it is killing me inside because she has always got ahold of me every day...

I just dont know what to do...I dont want to call her and ask her what the problem is because I dont want her to see me as a sure thing in her eyes or trying to press things forward. I decided I am going to wait for her to call me, but I fear that might not happen because she is so focused on her career and law school...I just dont understand how someone can just flip a switch like that when being so into someone...i sure cant do it...can anyone shine some light on this situation for me because it is tearing me up, and i cannot focus on anything but her and my phone waiting for her name to pop up...and when it does...i need to know what to say. I feel that something is between us keeping us from becoming close...we may not be compatable and that fact is killing me inside...or its just we arent comfortable with eachother yet...is that normal? thanks very much.





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