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Its a combination of lack of trust and insecurity.. which you do seem to already know.

Its not that she doesn't personally trust [I]you[/I] its that she (probably) doesn't trust guys in general. I know that's probably infuriating Basically you are being held guilty for what past scumbags have done to her. Which isn't fair to you... but unfortunately she isn't totally incontrol of that. It's something she does need to work on though. Take it from someone who's been there... lack of trust, insecure, doubtful, worried, paranoid, jealous.. you name it-- that was me!

How long have you been together?

For me time was what finally got me passed all that. The longer my current boyfriend and I were together, the less all that stuff listed above seemed to be lingering in my head. As our relationship grew, so did my confidence in our feelings for eachother. Even though I knew rationally that I could trust him, in the beginning of the relationship (up to about 6-8mths) there was still a lot of that "but do you [I]really[/I] know him" BS hovering in the back of my head. It's been over a year now that we've been together and he's the first guy I've been with where all that's (mostly) no longer existant.

I do have moments where I get stupid and jealous at the mention of a female friend. And it is becuase of insecurities. I feel a tad threated by girls he is close to and shares things in common with that I don't. It's silly and dumb, but I can't help how I feel. The only thing that I can do, that your girlfriend needs to do, is remind myself that I'm being irrational, that he loves me, that I have nothing to worry about, and that its my problem not anything he is doing.

There is a problem with her constantly nagging you about it. It shows low self-esteem, and it may eventually drive you away. Trusting someone is difficult when you've been burned in the past. But she needs to try. She can't hold you accountable for her ex's actions. A relationship can't exist without trust. She needs to value herself if she wants you, or anyone else for that matter, to value her. She needs to work on her insecurities in order to get over her issues. The first step is recognizing those insecurities. Once she acknowledges them, she can take the steps to improve it.





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