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[QUOTE=dma11663;3090748]Thank you guys........I appreciate it very much. I hope to see him soon (casually). Some good advice.

anyone else...........flirt is good, I like that. He is younger than me so that bothers me a little. Nice guy though. Any more advice? Compliment him? would that be good?[/QUOTE]

hey just wanted to ask why the younger thing bothers you? what is the age difference. I am 27 and my boyfriend is 22. We work perfectly together so please do not think age is a big deal. It really can work with age differences! Also, sure compliments are great, like "i love your laugh" or, "you have the best eyes!" It is a nice and easy way to let someone know you like them without coming on too strong. Just keep them to a minimum otherwise you may come off SCARY! LOL alrighty, well good luck- I am excited to hear about this causal meeeting coming up soon! ;)
Hey everyone,

I bumped into him yesterday. Talked for about 5 mins. I was very tired, it was late. He just doesn't seem interested to me...that was my vibe last night but honestly, a couple of months ago he really did seem interested.

I don't care....it is a crush right? Crushes are good but eventually they fade (I think). Funny, when I speak to him sometimes I get shakey. Does that happen to anyone? Hasn't happened to me in a very long time! :)

I could use some help setting up my DVD player? I had someone that was supposed to help me about 3 mos. ago and he cancelled and I never rescheduled. I am good at doing things myself, my mom says I am like a man, I do it all (and believe me, I am girlie) but I just can't get all the darn plugs on the DVD ....it is confusing to me!

However, not sure if I can pursue this, especially is my vibe was "he's not interested". I'll see. I felt a bit bad when I went home last night. I have to tell you, even though I'm a little older than him, I don't look it. I am small (5'2 and petite). I think I havea cute figure, honestly, I am a size 2 and I have a pretty face too. I don't think I look my age and he wouldn't know what my age is because I've never told him. Althought he mentioned his age to me last week....said he is getting old! Ha!

Why is it the ones you are interested in are never interested in you. Maybe I have to stop being everyone's friend.

Can't invite him in...that's forward and he will then know why I am inviting him in for coffee/drink. He should do the asking, he's the guy. What's wrong you guys? :) (only kidding).

Thanks.
Listen, I've rang his bell a few times already because of other situations and he has always been pretty nice. Last week something happened in the area and he asked me about it but I was on my way out in a hurry. He said, I'll ring your bell tonight...what time will you be home...but I, the jerk I am, finished my story and he had no need to come ring my bell! :)

I think he is certainly comfortble with me...........but maybe just a friend. You are funny though, you post made me laugh! He doesn't seem overly shy, just quiet kind of to himself hello and goodbye to the others that he doesn't know as well but I am sure he is comfortable with people he knows better . I have to have enough nerve. I think I have to try to flirt more....or something to give him a sign...............I can't just knock on his door and say hey, wanna hang out or go for a coffee or a drink????????? OMG! Then the whole neighborhood will know. Funny thing.............another guy (a different guy that is not my type at all:) told another neighbor last week after seeing me "I can't believe she is "single". So this neighbor said ..hey go for it, he said I am! OMG! I have no interest in him at all.................see.....always the ones you don't want, he is not my type at all..................ugh.

Keep yoru fingers crossed (try not to hurt hurself though, could be a longer wait than you think). :)
Hey,

I haven't seen him, except on Saturday and I just waved as he was pretty far away. Haven't spoken, etc. Nada, nothing. My feeling is ....... he's not interested.

But I was just told another guy thinks I am pretty. Not interested in him either. See....now that's 2 guys ......why does this happen? I figure if I bump into the one I'm interested in, I can strike up a more intimate conversation.........but haven't had the opportunity to do so........Car wasn't in the driveway last night or the night before either......so I am not sure if he went out, etc. Was there this a.m. though? On Thursday I saw him and we talked a bit.......when he talks he touches, but I don't think it is because he is interested, I do that too.......I think it is him and how he is. My arm he touched.....nothing else! :)


Anyway....................I have a dental problem right now which is a real heavy, and I don't even want to hang out with me....I am down abut it. I have a compromised tooth, that I am so afraid I am going to lose and it is on the side toward the front......Can you imagine? Ugh! Has a fracture in the root and can't hold a post/crown.. Only time will tell but it is feeling weird to me. Great....who will want me w/o a tooth? Ugh!

Let's see what happens.....I am a B today. Know what that mean? I feel it and it isn't like me. I don't even think he would make me feel better.
Geez...I've been missing out here! Don't seem to be getting notifications...hmmm.

Anyway...good grief girl! He's interested!! He's just not sure you are...I think he's waiting for you to make a move...or wishes you would. In general, guys don't talk to girls like that unless there is some interest...seriously. If he wasn't interested he'd be avoiding you and steering the conversations away from anything at all remotely relationshipy...or not answering fully. This guy does sound interested, believe me, he is just shy and I don't think you've made it abundantly clear to him that you are interested. I still believe you are going to have to take the bull by the horns on this one.
:D
[QUOTE=dma11663;3122595]probably was comparing you are right.

This guy asked me a few months ago if I cooked when I get in! Sometimes I think he is just making conversation???????? We talk about families, etc.

He told me once that women where he worked said "why haven't you asked me out". My God! I could never. Anyway.......

Want to read into some of this for me! :)[/QUOTE]

I could be wrong ofcourse, I am only going on what you are saying, but if a guy asked me if I cooked when I got in - well I personally wouldn't take that as just polite conversation, he's trying to steer the conversation onto a personal level, and seems he has for sometime lol. Ofcourse I could be so wrong, but I would read it myself as he was keen ;)

Not sure what you meant about the work comment, did you mean that he said that the women he works with keep asking him why 'he' hasn't asked you out yet?

Reading your thread again, it seems he is dropping big hints, trying to feel you out and how you respond. Men can be proud, maybe he is scared to just ask you out for fear of rejection, so he is looking for clues to how you feel towards him before he takes the plunge.

I would give some enrouragement, if your still keen on him ofcourse..
Hey you guys! Finally, I was getting worried.

Freindof...the worst thing I think could happen is that he says no...then I walk around embarrassed and not able to look at him. Maybe he feels the same way.

I forgot to tell you guys though....sometimes when I've seen him and I've been dressed really nice for work (not my usual sweats weekend thing) he check me out (up and down) cuz I see it. But, maybe he does that to everyone cuz guys will be guys. last week I saw him looking at my butt. Doesn't mean he is interested just means he is a guy.

Anyway, with my tooth situation I don't think popcorn would be good for me, but I am staring in this movie so I guess I don't get to sit back and eat bon bons and popcorn anyway! :)

At some point I promise you guys that I will get more personal with him, you will see. I swear.....it is like pulling teeth...OMG I don't want to mention teeth! OUCh!
Yes, we're also going very crazy here...you're like a remote control that works only intermittently! ;)

You're right though, men and women do think differently. I just don't understand why you would put yourself through all this turmoil when a solution is right next door so to speak. God I'm glad I'm a guy sometimes! Haha...I know that not all woman are like you and I totally understand you not wanting to put yourself out there, but still there is a limit. Also, you shouldn't assume that he realizes what you are feeling and act on it somehow.

Maybe he'll read this whole thing and put two and two together...wouldn't that be sweet! :)

If I had his email address I'd email him and ask him what he thinks of you!
yes.......................:)

I didn't have to go to him, he rang me! :)

Yes......UPDATE!!!!! My crush rang my bell last night. Yep. He caught me by surprise. He said.....checking on you, are you ok (cuz of the family illness, etc.) I had about 2 glasses of wine in me, and was contemplating knocking on his door, to ask the favor...but I didn't have to and I was surprised! We talked for a bit and then I said, you want to come in, and he did. I asked him he I could get him something but told him...I was drinking wine would you like some? I didn't have beer, don't keep it because I don't drink it. He didn't want anything, not even water! He sat with me for 30 mins. we talked about a lot of things......relationships, etc. He said he will never get married he can't do the relationship thing.....he said he lived with girls one who lied about everything. He told me about his family. He asked me if I dated a lot. I said no...I told him I had been was engaged, but couldn't stand all the fighting and would have ended up divorced. He said you're happier by yourself now right? I said not really, I don't miss the fighting and arguing but it isn't great being alone either. I told him he seemed like a very nice guy would meet someone and then he would know it is right and wouldn't have to be miserable. He said he can't do the relationship thing...can't take 3 days good 4 days bad, 5 days bad 2 days good. Can't take the roller coaster. I told him that if he met the right person, she would understand it all. He asked me if I fought! I said...I hate to fight. He told me he was easygoing and he told me that he really is a nice guy. He agian told me about how women ask him out...and say very forward things. I could never be that way and I think he got annoyed by woman being so forward, that was the sense I got. What else......told me that dating is 5th on his list and he is always upfront about things. He works, gym, sports, out with friends once a week. I asked him if he dated... (figured he asked me so what the heck) he said once in a while, movie, drink, etc. but not really looking for a serious thing, can't do it. He asked me about kids????? He said don't you want kids? I said I don't really focus on it too much, it isn't my be all or end all. He laughed. He said he is set in his ways, and probably couldn't handle kids either.

Ok start reading into it for me. I'm thinking, forget it. 2 different pages totally. But we did get along and the conversation was ok but I am wondering why he looked for me....bored maybe?
Hi T

Not sure what my next move will be. I am still not sure (I repeated my post below) if he really is interested. Maybe he was just being nice. I kind of hope he is interested, but if he isn't that's ok too. He doesn't want a relationship...he made it clear.

I don't have a next move? The same as usual. Maybe, just maybe, if I cook something I'll bring him something cuz he doesn't cook.


{Repeated this below for those that haven't been updated on my update}
yes.......................

I didn't have to go to him, he rang me!

Yes......UPDATE!!!!! My crush rang my bell last night. Yep. He caught me by surprise. He said.....checking on you, are you ok (cuz of the family illness, etc.) I had about 2 glasses of wine in me, and was contemplating knocking on his door, to ask the favor...but I didn't have to and I was surprised! We talked for a bit and then I said, you want to come in, and he did. I asked him he I could get him something but told him...I was drinking wine would you like some? I didn't have beer, don't keep it because I don't drink it. He didn't want anything, not even water! He sat with me for 30 mins. we talked about a lot of things......relationships, etc. He said he will never get married he can't do the relationship thing.....he said he lived with girls one who lied about everything. He told me about his family. He asked me if I dated a lot. I said no...I told him I had been was engaged, but couldn't stand all the fighting and would have ended up divorced. He said you're happier by yourself now right? I said not really, I don't miss the fighting and arguing but it isn't great being alone either. I told him he seemed like a very nice guy would meet someone and then he would know it is right and wouldn't have to be miserable. He said he can't do the relationship thing...can't take 3 days good 4 days bad, 5 days bad 2 days good. Can't take the roller coaster. I told him that if he met the right person, she would understand it all. He asked me if I fought! I said...I hate to fight. He told me he was easygoing and he told me that he really is a nice guy. He agian told me about how women ask him out...and say very forward things. I could never be that way and I think he got annoyed by woman being so forward, that was the sense I got. What else......told me that dating is 5th on his list and he is always upfront about things. He works, gym, sports, out with friends once a week. I asked him if he dated... (figured he asked me so what the heck) he said once in a while, movie, drink, etc. but not really looking for a serious thing, can't do it. He asked me about kids????? He said don't you want kids? I said I don't really focus on it too much, it isn't my be all or end all. He laughed. He said he is set in his ways, and probably couldn't handle kids either.

Ok start reading into it for me. I'm thinking, forget it. 2 different pages totally. But we did get along and the conversation was ok but I am wondering why he looked for me....bored maybe?
Glad to hear the news!!

I think the guy is still interested in you, he's just also scared about getting hurt again.. so he's hesitating on the relationship thing right now. That's understandable.

How many times do people get wasted and say "Man, I'm never drinking again"?!? But they do. It's the same idea. People say all the time, "I give up on men/girls. i'm done with them." But it doesn't (usually) last forever.

I say keep up the causal, friendly neighbor friendship you have started. Let him see what a great person you are, and you can be the girl that returns his faith in relatioships!

I agree that his choice in conversation was a way of checking you out, seeing what you're all about. He wouldn't have checked in on you, or stayed for that long if he was at least somewhat interested. How many straight men do you know that are just friends with a female!?! Not many.. even guy friends would most likely date any of their female friends if the opportunity presented itself!

So he's scared of getting hurt again, that doesn't mean he will be for the rest of his life. So the next step from here is to become better friends with him.
Just a few things to add. How does a guy treat someone he likes just as a friend.....as opposed to someone that is interested? He asked me questions... I think he is nosy :) Maybe he just makes conversation. Do you date a lot. What type do you go out with? I bet it is this type? I don't have a type? Do you ask friends these types of questions?

I really think he is just a friend....I haven't been aggressive, he said he has a lot of women that wanted to be with him.....old and young and he got fed up with the whole thing. They actually asked him.....why haven't you asked me out? I am not going to be aggressive, let him do it. I give him 1 week and I'm done.

:)

Freindof...how are you?
he asked you what your type is to see if he fits the description!!

I think you two have a flirty-friendship starting.. which is good, because it often leads to more, or at least has the potential to. You're both just niave or slow to pick up on the signals you're both giving out!!

I say, stick with that you're doing and it should keep progressing (I'm sure it doesn't feel like progress to you. but from a reader's stand point I can see it. You've gone from barely talking, to flirty touching; arm around your shoulder and even the buddy punch!) It's slow progress.. but it's progress nontheless!!

Don't give up, but don't be too aggressive (which you're not and that seems to be a good thing with this guy.) Just go with the flow of the flirty-friendship and see where it leads!
I need to flirt more............I don't want to be too obvious or aggressive, I think it could turn him off. Why would he jump out at me like that! He did that to me once before. He is my friend...for sure and if it did go anywhere else...that is good because you should be friends before anything else. I don't think I was ever really friends with my ex....and it was a very hard relationship, he was very disrespectful all the time and thought it was ok.

This guy knows I startle and probably gets a charge out of. I certainly don't want to mention bikini babes, makes me feel like I am not comparable. Ugh....sometimes I feel like I wish I looked like that, or had hair like that, you know, you start to feel inadequate. You know, I think we all have moments of feeling "not good enough".

I may not see him tonight, like I said, it is hit or miss! He really needs to make a move...or I am going to get fed up! My body shakes though...that is good right? Haven't had those butterflies or weak knees in quite some time. Makes you feel like "wow, I am alive". :)
you can flirt without being too obvious or too aggressive. Eye contact, smiling, finding a reason to touch him (not inappropriately!! you know, the girly laugh then touch his shoulder or hand or something.) Playing with your hair..It's all about body language!

The guy is definitely interested. Men don't make friends with women, just to be friends!! You're just being naive, and making excuses b/c for whatever reason you find it so hard to believe this guy could be into... well he is!! Accept it!!!

Next time he mentions the beach, comment on how much you would love to get to the beach soon..maybe he'll invite you!
I am enjoying it, but the wondering......is killing me! I wonder.......

I don't think I am a flirt but I am freindly, very friendly and he sees it. I know a lot of people and I talk a lot (Yap, yap yap). Maybe he thinks I'm just being nice to him? I hope I come across differently......I hope he gets it. Men are dumb sometimes though.

When I spoke to him last week (when he rang) I didn't want to pry tooooo much, so I sort of asked a few questions, was very nice, didn't shock but....I didn't want to overstep. I like him. I think he is nice. Even if just for a friend.

It sucks being hurt or being with someone that hurts you more often than not. It takes time but then we need to see the bright side of it and realize it was a learning experience and not allow it to happen again. I told this guy that my ex didn't respect me. He thought of telling me to go F myself at the drop of a hat. He was surprised. I also told him I would never cheat but being in a realtionship like that, I could see how people turn and go to someone else, not that I would, but I could see it. I put up with it for a long time and then, I couldn't take it. This guy asked me if I fought a lot, I told him I hate fighting. I come across (as small as I am and as feminie as I look) I come across like a tough cookie but I am not, and this guy knows it now. I don't want to fight with anyone, it makes me sick. I told him that this past relationship toughened me up some because I am actually a wimp. He said you are??????

Anyway, he is still being nice and friendly so I'll take it one day at a time.
Flirting. well, I do touch his arm sometimes...I look him in the eye. I have to learn to flirt more. You said you are a good flirt? Any pointers?

Body language........well, not sure. He made it clear that dating is 5th on his list. Maybe he told me that cuz he isn't interested and figures I am? Oh God, here i go........my brain is scrambled. This guy is under my skin.
[QUOTE=dma11663;3141536]This guy is under my skin.[/QUOTE]

I bet you are under his too.

Flirting is all in a look..i think. Its a sheepish smile..a quick glance then look away and smile. raise the eyebrows...read that somewhere yesterday. and the tone of your voice...but the smile is number one on the flirting list. not a show all your pearly whites :D .but a soft..seductive smile...lol
Whew! Back at work, my sweetie is headed home...sigh.
Just caught up on all this...again!

Hey DMA, you're still being so hard on yourself. This guy is into you, the jumping out at you and all. Guys would not do something like that if he weren't interested as well. On the other hand if you are giving him the vibe that you don't think you are good enough he will pick up on that and might turn him off.

My opinion on the flirting stuff is to let it happen naturally...if you force yourself to make certain "signs" it will look forced and comical. I bet that since you are feeling the chemistry that you are giving off signals to him. Being close, feeling the heat of each others skin, not being able to stop a smile when you look at each other...those kinds of things.

The other thing was you said that he hasn't said that you look good or any kind of compliment like that. Don't worry about that yet, some guys have trouble saying things like that, sounds too sappy etc and he may not feel he is at that point with you yet, he's scared of scaring you off.

:)
Thanks Friend but he didn't say it several times. He just said it that once when it came up last week when he rang. He asked me if I dated, etc. Then, as a come back I asked him, do you date? He said ah...you know, don't get me wrong a movie or a drink I just don't think I can do the relationship thing...can't do 3 days bad 4 days good, etc. What I said in one of my threads. He then said, "my friends think I'm crazy" but it is like 5th on my list. He asked me if I was happier being alone, and I said...ah, but I had that no look on my face. He knew it. Then I saw him sunday, the arm around me thing...for 1 split second, honestly, I know it didn't mean anything and then yesterday am. He doesn't say it all the time. checks up and down, seen him do it alot. I'm thinking that he thinks either (a) nice girl, definite relationship material but I don't want that so it is a no go or (b) nice girl, not my type! :) He is always good with conversation, asks me things like how was your day, how's the job, etc. Really a nice guy. What a shame...
I agree 100% with Friendof.

The guy is interested.. he's just not sure what to do about, or what he wants to do about it. Taking things slow is always a good solution, as is letting things happen naturally.

Maintain the friendship, keep doing what you're doing and see what developes.

A lot of times when people stop looking is when someone comes along!
Ya...I'm going to go see her this weekend...couldn't wait! Ha!

You are silly, you know that? You find the one guy who makes you crazy and you want to go find someone else so you don't have to think about him! I can understand letting him make the moves but geez you want him...he is into you even if you can't see it. Why do you think all of a sudden you see him around more??? Coincidence?? I think not!!

Since you want to kiss him, when you have been talking to him have you noticed yourself glancing at his lips? I'll bet he's noticed if you have...has he been glancing at yours?

Give him a sign he can't ignore!
I think Friendof is on the right track with this guy's "put down" flirting style.. only I'd call it teasing. Saying things like, "you're mellow now, did you have wine," is him playing with you, teasing you. He's definitely pushing your buttons. It may not be your preferred way for him to flirt, but that's what he's doing!! He doesn't mean to be offending you. Of course if you were already in a stressed out mood, you're not going to jump for joy when somene calls you high strung! But it was nothing more than flirting..

The guy is definitely interested in you! How can you still deny it!??! :blob_fire No guy, not even your best guy friend, stops by your work place, just to say hi!! You were on his mind, he wanted to see you, so he stopped in. I don't care if he works around the corner... a guy doesn't make a pit stop for a girl unless he is interseted in her!!! The only thing he could do to make his interset more obvious is to ask you out, or make a move on ya!! Which, hopefully he will soon for your sake... for all our sakes!! hehe :D
Hi,

you are right Tarheel...I should have said something but I didn't think fast. However, he should be inviting me to dinner! :)

Also, Jen.............I hope you are right and for all our sakes because I swear I have an ulcer. I hope he is flirting...but it isn't obnoxious flirting with me...which I told him about someone who was a little tooo forward so maybe he thinks if he acted that way he wouldn't have a chance? I told him this guy (from our area) was drunk, etc. and this guy (my crush) said to me, he got balls because of the beers. I told him I don't care what he had at that moment, he annoyed me. So what do you think....he is interested or not? I am still not sure.. YOu guys don't see it when he gives me that buddy punch, or puts his hand on my arm or shoulder, it isn't flirty to me. It is "buddy".
There is no such thing as a "buddy" in female form for a guy...it may seem that way but he really has more than just buddy feelings for you. Not that I'm saying a guy can't have a female buddy...but he most likely wanted/wants more than that.





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