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Ok so I can’t even make quotes because there is so many I could quote, but you are right, you and her did the same thing, she freaked out and you did not. She has a hard time hearing you because you are so quiet, she speaks so loud, i'm sure, because she doesn’t want the same mistakes that happened in her past to happen again. maybe she was too quiet.. and now she feels she needs to voice her opnion so loud becasue that is the only way she will be herd. I know this because I did it. And we worked it out, and are VERY happily married. There will always be little issues, for example for me, I hate one of my husbands friends. I don’t like the way he gives advice about our relationship which he has no clue about. I voiced it, and he herd it. So now I know he can be friends with this man, and still love me. And that sometimes he will ***** about me or work, but really his advice means nothing, he is just there to be a friend, to be someone elts to listen to him. I will always dislike him, but I like him because he is a good caring friend to my husband, and I don’t want him to never have that. As long as my husband has a good friend, it really doesn’t matter what we think of each other. and I only think like that now becasue when I told my husband how I felt, I know he herd me.

You need to be herd too, she is so loud and clear, but you need to be herd too… what worked for me was he would write to me when we had a fight. I keep all those letter and today he tries to through them away. He thinks I keep them because I hold on to the negative. But I don’t I hold on to them because I really feel like it was the only way I could hear him. To remined me that I don’t need him to write me anymore. Exactly what you are saying here. you may need to write her. it worked for me.

If it doesn’t then I totally agree with happymom, your relationship is too controlling on her part, if she can't hear you, and only how she feels matters. you may need to be alone for a bit. And don’t be afraid. Even if it is just to prove to her and yourself that she cannot control you because of this fear. You don’t need to jump out and find a new girlfriend or new friends. (if you fined new friends that would be great) Just show her and yourself that you are not afraid to break up with her because you are afraid of being alone. If you are afraid of being alone, then she has total control over you. You do need to find new friends, and she has to accept that. and you need to find a hobby, like playing games, something that can keep your mined off of being alone. But you have to let her know if she keeps making you feel like **** then why are you with her, you would rather be alone.

Then the more i thought about it, she made WAY more mistakes than i did. I made lots too, dont get me wrong, talking about other girls, and so forth. But at first, maybe the first month or two, she would basically tell me stories of her and past boyfriends. The thing is, i can put the past where it belongs, in the past. On the other hand, she brings up my mistakes all the time, whereas im just now realizing she has done the same exact thing as me, its just i put it in the back of my mind where it belongs.

Ask her if that is what she wants you to do, start counting her mistakes, point out what I said in the other post, that she only remembers the bad, and brings it up again and again. Write her or tell her. But I think write her, that you could keep brining up all her mistakes and hurt her as she does to you. But how that makes you feel and how you don’t want to hurt her because you love her. You know that people make mistakes but when it keeps getting rubbed in your face… how she can do that when you could never do that to her. Tell her there is no point to a relationship where people only remember the bad.

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