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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


No offense, but you really don't list the best reasons for working it out. For example, you will have nothing to do if you break up with her besides a couple of days of work and class. That's easily changed by calling up some of your old friends or going to different places to meet new people. You can't be affraid to be single for a while. Being single is one of the best ways of finding yourself as a person. As for you not feeling desirable, you have to remember that self confidence speaks volumes. If you feel like you are the most attractive man in the room others will see you this way too.

You say you lost friends for another reason you don't want to get into and I respect that. But you really should find a way of making a life outside of her. You two spend a lot of time together. Togetherness is great and all, but you don't have an identity without her. She is going away for two days and you are planning on sitting home being bored. Why don't you call some of these old friends and spend some time together doing something you use to do.

Obviously the choice to be with her or not rests between the two of you. Personally I don't think you are all that compatible from what you say, but then I am only getting a short one sided version of your relationship. The one thing I do know is that in healthy relationships you can't be everything. You have to have other friends and other interests to keep things fresh. One of the worst mistakes you can make is making your entire life about your SO.
Well Iím glad that you guys came to an understanding. I met my husband when I was still in high school, I was 18, and we had a lot of arguments at about the same age as you, I believe it was because we really loved each other but we were not mature enough to understand that each person is an individual. And we have different thoughts from each other. Which caused difficult time. We both were left wondering should I really be with this person. But what you said ď to know you really feel love from her sideĒ I responded to your post because it reminded me so much of our relationship when we first started, things were tuff, but we both took the relationship very seriously, and we both knew we loved each other. And all these fights were just us digging deeper in to each otherís hearts and learning everything we can about each other the good and the bad. And when you posted again, how your previous relationships really were nothing but a fling, we can also relate to that. We waited 7 years before we got married, and there were still no children involved. Today we still have the odd disagreement, but over the years we have grown together so much and respect each other as an individual. Not to mention learning so much from each other and building a really strong relationship. That you canít just pick up anywhere. If one of us called it quits so early in the game, who is to say we would be where we are today. Who is to say there is someone better out there? I know lots of people that destroyed a relationship believing there was something better only to really understand later how much was lost, and regret it. I have seen woman get pregnant to try and hold on to the guy, or use it to manipulate them, and end up destroying it that way.

The good thing is you can always start again after a huge loss. But you have to build the foundation in a new relationship all over again. And youíre left with baggage. No one is perfect. Its hard in the beginning, but once you build foundation and set up the structure, if the foundation is strong, nothing can tear it down. And that is what you two are doing now. I donít think you are too young to fall in love.

Not every woman is going to run out and get pregnant to trap a man. Some woman do, and they end up with nothing but a child to support on their own. Doesnít mean she is going to do that, and if you fear that you can always talk to her about it. And hang in there, you can always talk to your son about that. I personally donít understand why people donít wear protection when they are not ready to have children. My husband and I used 2 forms of protection. One for each of us to always be on, Itís the responsibility for bother partners to take it seriously, not only for the woman to take birth control, because what if she forgets it? but also for the man, to have condoms, because what if they break? To think itís only one persons responsibility is asking for trouble.





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