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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

You are very close with your family. You are going to be an aunt in 7 months. They may be within "driving distance" but it's not the same. You have a strong family bond and I'm guessing that your boyfriend doesn't have the same with his family therefore he just doesn't understand where you are coming from on this.

You want to find a job that makes you financially independent. You want to be happy with whatever job you chose since you are 29 and you are basicly starting over again. I would think your boyfriend could understand this since his reluctance to move your way was snagged by his job and him making more money than you.

I understand you and he feeling like your relationship can't grow unless you are living closer together. But at the same time he should not be pressuring you into making a life changing decision and move if you are not 100% ready. If he really loved you and really cared about your feelings he would be able to wait, no matter how hard that wait may be. He is basicly threatening you with a "break" if you don't do what he wants. Does that seem right to you?

What if you reversed the situation? You know full well that he wouldn't do any of what he is expecting you to do. What right does he have to ask you to do something that he would be unwilling to do himself? He should have a little more consideration for your feelings as well as his own.

I know I've said it before and I will say it again. Moving for this man will be a mistake. You should never do something for someone that they are unwilling to do for you. Then you add in all of the other factors (your family, your job, etc..) and it only makes it more clear that this is not the right move for you. I think you will come to resent him in the long run for not caring about your needs and feelings. You have very valid reasons to be hesitant. I still feel that if he cared about you as much as he claims to he would never put this much pressure on you to do something that you are not comfortable doing.

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