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Just thought I'd get some feedback on something that's been bothering me.

For those who remember, my brother was going through stuff with an ex girlfriend. She broke up with him, got back with him, then broke up with him again, suposedly for good, she didn't want him anymore YET kept calling him, wanting him to be there for her when she was sad, lonely, etc and every time she'd call he'd cry and get really sad for days afterward so he finally told her he needed to move on and heal and to please stop calling for a while so he could start getting over her. She got very mad at him and hung up on him, which upset and saddened him further. Later that same night I saw her in a club with another guy, holding hands, rubbing his thigh, whispering in his ear, etc. She saw me but ignored me, and we had been pretty friendly up till that point.

They still continued to communicate off and on and through mutual friends, and a couple of months later his birthday came up, he invited some female friends and a couple of girls he had dated once or twice very casually. He invited her and her friends but they said she wouldn't be coming. But very early that morning she sent a strange text saying she didn't get him a present but all she could give him was her love, etc. He didn't know what to make of that, and didn't know if she was coming. As the party was winding down, she did come with them for the "second shift" of the party. She and my brother went outside, and unbeknownst to me, they got back together. Her friends apparently knew that's what she was planning. In the course of the party, her friend, who I also considered my friend, was telling me about her son and a girl he seriously was crushing on, and how he'd do anything for her and she held up her pinkie saying "you know the type, she's got him right here' and I grinned a little and said "yes, I think I do." I just felt that my brother's ex girl had really put him through some paces, and not all of it fair. He was really down on himself, he took all the blame for the failure of the relationship, etc. Anyway, That was late June and I saw her with my brother and their friends once since then, and the friends, who were usually very warm and kind, were a bit stand offish to me. I was polite and civil to my brother's girl, I really have no animosity toward her, I just don't want him to get hurt again, nor do I think it's healthy for him to feel like he has to continually flog himself and apologize for who he is just to be with her, that's not a recipe for any healthy relationship. Anyway, my brother told me she feels I don't like her and I was just honest I said "I liked her alot before she started this stuff!" meaning the calling him getting mad because he said he needed to heal, also being with two other men while they were apart, without protection. I expressed concern to my brother as well, to be careful lest he catch something. Anyway, I think she has now forbidden him to talk to me, I haven't seen or spoken with him in weeks, and she has a get together scheduled soon, and I'm apparently not invited. This saddens me to no end, seeing as those mutual friends were really my only social network and my brother was really my best friend and favorite person. Now I've been exhiled to Syberia.

The truth is, she's the only girl my brother's dated that came the closest to feeling like sister-in-law material. I liked her a lot, but I felt bad for my brother, and worried about him, and felt he was giving up too much power, that's all.

It's not like I told him to not get back with her. He asked me if he should take her back, and I told him if he did he'd have to do things differently, and not apologize for himself all the time, and not fold up like a hankie whenever she gets mad. Women don't respect that. Anyway, I don't know what I did that was so wrong and unforgivable, but I guess I did something. Her birthday's coming up. Should I get a card and small gift and try to make amends? Though I'm not even really sure what for? What would you do?

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