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Thanks D! :D :)

Yup, and women think alike too...it's all a matter of realizing that! Still tough though...and it's easy to make mistakes. ;)

Yes, I would have to agree about knowing in a few minutes. However, there are times, probably moreso with a man??...when the woman is really attractive the guy can get confused by that...if that makes any sense.

Anyway, I'm sure this guy likes you. It could be that he REALLY likes you so is being very careful not to be too forward. It happens to us. Not to generalize too much here but a guy is going to be most forward when it doesn't really matter...you know? Like when he is only trying to sleep with you that's when a guy will lay it on thick and ask you out a lot. If a guy is actually interested in you for more than that he may tone it down a lot. Besides you said he doesn't date much, and you are older than he is. I'd probably take it slow if I were him too!
Most of us aren't mind readers...what you think someone knows, and what they actually do know can be very, very different. You may feel like you are giving obvious hints, and he may even think that you're into him... but just as you couldn't tell for sure if he was interested or not, he is probably having the same doubt about you...thinking, "I dont know, she seems into me, she let me in and we talked for a while, but she hasn't really said anything.. " It works both ways.

And no-one likes rejetion.. even if he's 99% sure you're into him, he may wait to act on it until he gets that last 1%. It's silly, but most men are!!

If you want something to happen with this guy, you need to be the one who makes the bold move. If you can't, (or won't really b/c there's no reason you cant!!) then all you can do is continue as you are, flirt, talk, and keep your options open.
His leaving a woman in the middle of a date bothers me. Even if the date wasn't going well, if there was no connection, and you're bored... you should still respect the person you're with and finish the evening. Even if you make it shorter by not ordering dessert.. come on, it's just rude to get up and walk away from a person or vanish while they're in the bathroom. It's totally disrepsectful in my oppinion. And his "my time is precious" comment translates into "I'm selfish." That's what I got out of it, combined with his possible date behavior. I don't know.. just a thought..

At this point, considering that dating is on the bottom of his list, and his time is just "oh so precious," I say maybe its time to start letting this fade out. I'm not saying give up on the guy completely.. just maybe not to put much more effort or thought into him. If he comes around, great.. if not, that can be ok too. Just be casual with him. If he comments on the change in your behavior (if he even notices) then call him out on it.. be like, "well I can't wait around for one guy to ask me out when others are interested.. " (there's nothign wrong with embellishing a little!)

As for the other guy.. give him a shot. You can't get much of a spark from a photograph.

Sorry to turn a bit pessimistic with your crush.. I just got a negative impression about him with that whole date scenario. I could be totally wrong though...
Hi Friendof.....

Well here is my update. Saw him this a.m. I was leaving for work (and I looked good again). He stayed and talked a while. I am not in a good mood today, and he made it worse. Please read into this for me. Asks hi, how are you, etc. Stood and talked for 20 mins. I told him I was not myself, that I was trying to figure things in my life out. He said..oh no. He said you said you are going to start dating, and I said I am. I just hate it. He again said he was happy with his life, repeated that he is enjoying it. If he had married and had kids he would have been miserable now. So, I said, like I told you.....it is better being alone than mismatched, however, not all realtionships are good and bad. He said, well you had one like that right. I said yes, but I've also had good ones where we worked together. He said he was happy and enjoying himself. Not relationship kind of guy. I told him I would find a nice girl for him. I said it is a shame, you see like you are a nice guy. Talked about cooking, etc. he said, you can clean for me, I'll pay you. I felt like saying what am I.....hazel, or a prostitute, but I didin't. I said, find yourself a girlfriend, you can do her laundry and she will cook for you. Then another person in the area comes around...she looks at him all googly, I said to myself, forget this. He knew it. I told him that you work together in relationships. I told him I was grounded. He said you seem to have it together, yeah I said it looks thta way huh? I said, you always look happy, you are always smiling so I guess you are ok with your life. I am not going to grow old by myself. That is awful. If you get sick, etc. you don't have anyone there for you. He said he didn't need anyone. I said...I think you attitude is awful (I was laughing though) and I said, I think you've been burned bad.

Anyway, I am feeling really horrible right now, almost to tears. He made me feel worse than what I felt when I was walking up the block. I guess this sums it all up Friendof...not interested. He was just a friend...and I don't want him as anything now, it is best for me.

What do you make of all this. Oh, as I was walking away, he said when I see you it always puts a smile on my face. I said you are such a BS artist. I laughed but my stomach was in a freaking knot.

Pls. tell me what you think. Do you see mixed signals here?
he's checking you out to see if you are the right one. but he's not exactly sure what to look for. no guy that doesn't want to date talks to a woman about relationship and dating and all that..unless he is interested in her. he's feeling you out...:D

hmm..what to cook. i cook everything. my favs are mexican and italian. then there's thai, japanese and chinese. but nothing beats a good grilled steak! anyway...fix whatever you are best at. we all have one thing that we kick butt on. mine would have to be lasagna. or chicken parm (not breaded). then stuffed peppers. anyway..fix what he likes and what you are good at. if you are a good cook you can get new recp. from the net, cook them and take him some to taste test. :D
I am having an insecure moment guys. If a guy spends hours with you..does that mean he is interested? I mean........when he left on Sunday (at 11:00 p.m.) after 6 hours with me....again I got the cheek thing and he said I had fun. He spent 5 hours another time and 4 hours another time and 30 mins. another time. 15 hours and didn't try a thing. Not even a kiss.

Friend...you are a guy. If you spent all these hours with someone would you have to be interested in the person as more than a friend? I have my moments of saying................he could have a number of women, younger prettier woman, why would he pick me? He did say I have a good heart on Sunday and that although I am a total neat freak.........which is good but over the top...............we laughed about it.....he said I have a lot of other good qualities. Ugh.

:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

Bye.
Yes, he is interested. There is no question here.

There's no way I would spend that much time talking to a pretty woman without some ulterior motive in my mind. That doesn't mean I'd necessarily make a move though, I'd need to see some interest on her part to make me feel confident enough that things are going to go the way I hope.

You're not with anyone else and you could be with any guy you wanted, why would you think it would be any different for him...and he hasn't been looking it seems anyway.
a-j...I'm not sure if you have been following the whole thread...and the one before....but the relationship question is because this guy has always said in the past he wasn't interested in having a relationship...dma I believe is only interested in someone that would be open to a relationship. That is why we need to know if he has changed his mind or not...if he hasn't then this whole thing should be dead in the water in terms of anything beyond a friendship.

Otherwise I would probably agree with you on it being too early. ;)
[QUOTE=friendof;3224458]a-j...I'm not sure if you have been following the whole thread...and the one before....but the relationship question is because this guy has always said in the past he wasn't interested in having a relationship...dma I believe is only interested in someone that would be open to a relationship. That is why we need to know if he has changed his mind or not...if he hasn't then this whole thing should be dead in the water in terms of anything beyond a friendship.

Otherwise I would probably agree with you on it being too early. ;)[/QUOTE]

Oh right. I see. Hmmm yeah well, I guess that changes the situation a little.
If he hadnt mentioned anything about relationships before, then Id have simply suggested, go out and have fun and everything will fall into place naturally.
But given his previous comments, I think she will need to approach this in a careful way. She needs to know if she will be more than a friend with benefits, but at the same time she shouldnt come on too strong and possibly scare him away (yeah some guys get scared away :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:) because this is still the very beginning.
dma- how long have you guys been seeing eachother?

friendof- I think you need to take over on this one, Im a little stuck as to what to suggest.:confused:
Im sure he would like to pursue a relationship- he wouldnt be saying things like "this hasnt happened to me in a long time" and he wouldnt visit dma at work. But, I guess you never know with guys :D
I thought last night was the night? ;)

It's very mixed messages here eh? The guy was strange right from the get go, very slow. Maybe that's just the way he is and is still interested. On the other hand, things like not calling, not inviting you in, not being complimentary, not going out in public...are all red flags that he isn't interested.

I don't think you have anything to lose by just coming out and asking him straight out what his intentions are towards you...I beg you to do just that!





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