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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Ohdanny, I know Rosequartz and all of us may sound harsh, but I gotta say I do agree, that really does sound like you're just excusing his behavior away. My ex had fallen out of love with me, or more accurately, was coming to the realization that he never really loved me at all, and he had said things like "I wish you had dated other guys before me" because I was so inexperienced with it came to dealing with men and understanding how they worked. But when he changed from "I wish you had dated other men" to "I think you should date other men." I was too naive and too blind with desperation to see what he was really saying. He was pushing me away with both hands, begging me to leave him and I just was the dumb girl who didn't get it. I can tell you, it sucks being that girl. It still hits me and I feel so humiliated I want to double over. Trust me you don't want to be the dumb girl who doesn't get it.

Now, the thing you mentioned about him getting all pouty and giving your guy friend dirty looks after you hugged him, it could be insecurity, it could be many different things, but really the bottom line is, this guy is difficult for you to please and make happy, yes? I don't think love is supposed to be this hard. He sounds petty, jealous, and he's shut off from you, and worst of all, he's not telling you why. IT could be because he doesn't know how, he's ashamed of the reason why, doesn't know what the reason is, or just is too chicken to give you the bad news that he doesn't love you anymore. My own life experience has taught me that it's probably the last one, but you have to follow your own heart, but please, just please make sure you're operating in your OWN best interest as well as his. Don't be so eager and desperate to get answers from him and help him through it that you start putting the answers you want to hear in his mouth. He needs to man up and deal iwth the relationship like an adult or he'll lose you. That's his price to pay, not yours. Just don't let him waste your time.

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