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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=farceur66;3158919]A very large part of me does not want to wait till I see him again to ask him but I think talking on the phone is not such a good idea... especially since he is not into phone talk.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I think this is a conversation that should be dealt with face-to-face. Not on the phone...especially if he's not a "phone person". :rolleyes:

There are just some things that should be dealt with face to face. Plus, you could also tell if he's lying when you see him face to face and look him in the eyes. Through the phone he could be telling you one thing while having a girl with him the same moment. Just saying...I could be TOTALLY wrong, but my gut is telling me that this guy is just out to have fun and have an easy "lay".

Just in case you can't see the [B][COLOR="Red"]RED FLAGS [/COLOR][/B]that I'm personally picking up, let me show you what conjures up in my mind when I read your original post...


[QUOTE]My question, we have been out on a date once in the very beginning. (per him he is really broke since he has been helping his brother go through school and handles all the bills for both of them till his brother graduates in a year (brother does not have a job), so maybe this is what he considers dating... I am not sure)[/QUOTE]

Okay...so he's "broke". To me this translates into: He has found an excuse to give you so you don't think it's "weird" or "strange" if he doesn't shower you with gifts (like a boyfriend usually does) or take you out (wine & dine you) like most guys do when they're really "into" a girl. :( Even a college guy who is "broke" can find other cheap things to do that don't involve a lot of money. You don't have to go to Morton's of Chicago to eat dinner every weekend...but he could take you to nice quaint restaurants that are cheaper, and don't do too much damage on the wallet.

[QUOTE]He comes over once a week[/QUOTE]

Okay, stop right there. That in itself was a red flag to me. IMO, a guy who is REALLY interested and isn't dating another girl on the side would NOT be satisfied with just seeing you once a week. I mean, it's true...you two probably see each other every freaking day at work, but if it's true that you guys "play it cool" while on the work scene, a guy who really liked you wouldn't be able to wait until he was off work, so that he could shed the "facade" and see you [B]AWAY [/B]from the office. Plus, you guys work together. There's no reason why you two couldn't go out after work and catch a movie or dinner or something.

[QUOTE]We usually talk about everything, watch tv/movies together, then hours later we get passionate ([B]which leads to sex[/B]). [/QUOTE]

BINGO!! No [I]wonder [/I]he likes to come over! ;)

[QUOTE]While he is at my house [B]he is very affectionate/loving while we watch tv and talk [/B]- - holds my hand, plays with my hair, holds me in his arms. The other night we were just hugging outside and he said he could do this all night. He always stays the night with me.[/QUOTE]

Yeah I bet... :rolleyes: Guys will say [I]ANYTHING [/I]to "get some". I'm sure he's VERY affectionate on those nights that you two are watching movies. Tell me, is he affectionate when you two are out on dates together?

[QUOTE]The thing is, [B]he never really calls me [/B](I have learned he hates talking on the phone and the few times we have talked on the phone it is brief)[/QUOTE]

Yeah...just read my last post about the "phone person" thing. You'll see why this is a red flag to me too.

[QUOTE]and at work we act friendly in a distant way[/QUOTE]

I concur with Saraph. He can play the "single role" while at work. Again, it makes me wonder just how many OTHER co-workers he's playing this "game" with. :confused: Especially that girl he likes to chat up and laugh with. Has he told her that they have to "play it cool" at work too?? Gee...that sounds like a good plan. This way, nobody has to no anything! Not even the other girls!! I may be jumping far into conclusions here, but I'm just seeing how so far a lot of his actions are working out to be in [I][B]HIS [/B][/I]favor, and not so much in yours... :(

[QUOTE]but it is the way he looks at me when he walks by that lets me know he likes me[/QUOTE]

Oh yeah...I know he likes you. He definitely likes that sex! :D

[QUOTE]I guess lately I have been feeling a little insecure. [B]Usually when I am with a guy I know somewhat what we are doing.[/B] In this relationship, I have no clue -- I do not think he is seeing other people but that has never come up. I honestly do not know if I am just a booty call to him or even just friends with benefits.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it's probably because those guys in the past (I assume) were all very [B]INTO [/B]you, so therefore they [I]wanted [/I]you to know what their intentions were. If you're feeling really insecure with this guy at work, then that is not a great sign. Usually, if a guy [B][I]REALLY [/I][/B]likes a girl, he will not want her to feel insecure. He'll do/say whatever he can to let her know that he wants her exclusively, and that she shouldn't feel insecure about anything.

[QUOTE]He has always been a very friendly, nice person. He does talk/joke with other girls on the floor and [B]I think to myself "is he doing the same thing with her?"[/B] Actually it is this one girl in particular. I have seen him standing at the receptionists desk, joking some during the day.[/QUOTE]

Yea...I'm glad you're asking yourself these thought-provoking questions. That means you're not blind to his actions. Personally, I think he may have anther girl "on the side" if you know what I mean. That's just what my gut instinct is saying.

Now, if you're comfortable with all of this, and he's just a "F-buddy" for you, then go right ahead! Have fun! But personally, I think you could do [B]SO [/B]much better OP.





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