It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

To the people who have kept up with my threads, yes, this is the same girl.

We've been together 5 months now, i am 19, she is 17. I can honestly say that i am in love with her. But we have had a rough relationship, i lied for the longest time to her, about my past life, i told her how i've been with girls, i've done things, and stuff like that. I did this for a few reasons: because i am extremely insecure, because i have terrible self esteem, i felt that it was necessary to get her jealous, and that i didnt think she'd want to be with a loser like me. Sadly, it took me about 4 months to come clean to her, and she didnt leave me because she understood why i did it. She said she wishes i didnt, but she understands.

The problem now is that she calls me selfish. I see her every single day (its been months since i havent seen her, i always see her every single day) for the majority of the day. I lost my friends over her (the few that i had), my parents are always upset because i never spend time with them, i barely work, and i gave up my hobbies (videogames, cars, sports for fun) for her. After months of being with her, im still in love with her, but i kind of want to share my old life with her. I want to be able to see my parents all the time, i do want to see my friends, and i do enjoy time to myself (i am an only child, so i love time to myself). She says she totally understands if i do all of this, and i know shes okay with it, because she has offered to let me leave her to go see someone else or do something else, but i never took the offer. Now months later, im taking those chances to see other people, and she is saying how she doesnt like it, she wants me to do it but she is all obsessive over it. I tell her im leaving to go home and eat dinner with my family, and just spend time with them. She says its fine when i first tell her. But then when the time comes for me to leave, she begs me to stay, she starts getting all angry and upset over the past (things i lied to her about), and once i finally get away i really dont even spend time with whoever im trying to, because she is constantly texting me or trying to talk to me in some way. She even today admitted she is going to try to get a life outside of me.

We even got her mom into some discussions, her serving as our "counselor" or something, and she did a great job. She analyzed me before i ever told her anything, and she did a great job, she figured out my self esteem, she figured out me insecurity. And she says that she thinks her daughter loves me more than i love her, which i dont want to believe, but it might be true, but that does not mean i dont love her a ton. But she noticed that her daughter is often times bringing me down, she has an anger problem, she talks over me, and says mean and offensive things JUST to upset/hurt me. Her mother even noticed that and sided with me for the majority of the things.

But the other main issue is that she does so much for me, but then expects me to do all of that for her back. She really does go out of her way to show me she loves me. Sets up surprises, if im hungry and im at work with no money or food she drives all the way out there to bring me food, if im having a bad day she drives out there just to give me a hug and see me for 5 minutes, she made me a box filled with 300 slips of papers saying why she loves me, she makes me really nice notes, and all of this. I know she loves me. But she expects me to do the same, but what she doesnt understand is that i never have time to do this. When i am not with her (not that often honestly, its a shock i have a chance to type all this up) i am taking advantage of the time i get to see my family. But she expects me to do crazy nice things like that, i dont have any money, i dont work too much at all, and when im not with her i take that time and spend it with my family or just take some alone time to do what i enjoy. I do nice things for her too, of course, but i dont do nearly as much as her, and i can admit.

She is way too sensitive, she even admitted that to me. Some little totally indifferent things are taken out of control. She does want me watching movies with nudity or anything slightly sexual. I guess its understandable, but its not like i watch movies JUST for the nudity, take 300 or Sin City for example, i enjoy both movies, but they have slight nudity, and she thinks its horrible that i watch those kinds of movies when i have a girlfriend. We tried to see Transformers and there was a scene where the camera just went up and down a girls body, she freaked out and went crazy. I had a videogame magazine in my room, and the cover of it was Grand Theft Auto 4, with a slutty dressed girl on the front. She went insane over it, i even go through the effort to flip through the entire magazine to show her that its all videogames. She goes nuts over stuff like that, and i will not deal with it. My old hobbies were videogames, movies, and so forth. There are two upcoming movies i want to see, War and American Gangster. Both say "nudity" in the rating, and i am going to see them with her or without her (which i can rarely ever do anyway).

I want my old life back, but keep her as well. I know she loves me, that i cannot deny. But alot of my friends hate me over our situation (whole different story), i stopped seeing the other friends, i rarely see my family anymore, i never get any time to myself to just take a nap, relax and play a videogame, watch a movie or anything.

We are going to see Dave Chappelle do standup this Wednesday, and i have a feeling she will ruin it for me. He makes plenty of dirty jokes and offensive jokes, and i told her i will 99% laugh at them. And she starts saying how im like every other guy, and stuff like that. If she cant handle things in the context of indirect jokes, she shouldnt see standup comedy. I am not missing this show, if she decides to say that shes not going, i will go alone. We never get any attractions in my area. Of course if this happens, she will say im selfish, when im just trying to please my own interests.

I know this is a huge wall of text, i hope someone actually bothers to read this. But i just dont know how to act or what to do. Im with her 90% of the time, the other 10% i take advantage of and doing something to please myself, rather than make something for her. She compares what she does for me to what i do for her. Please help.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:44 PM.

© 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!