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Hi all,

Well, after seeing this guy that I "thought" I loved, last night was the last straw. In the beginning of the relationship I was infatuated with this guy, how handsome he is, how funny he could be, but red flags kept popping up and I mostly ignored them. Guess those red flags finally caught up with me.

The past 6 months have been a roller coaster ride, one week we would be happy, the next week we would fight and break up only to go back together again. I first thought I was the one having problems after being alone for many, many years due to an illness. After I became better I started dating again and went out on several dates but didn't like any of the guys I met until HE came along..

He moved fast with the flowers, jewelry, fancy restaurants, and after only 2 months even mentioned marriage to me which scared me. He kept insisting we were soul mates and were destined to be together forever.

Well, he was supposed to move in with me almost a month ago and at the last minute I changed my mind.. I panicked. Since then, he has been playing games with me like staying at his mothers, ignoring me (well, I can understand that I hurt him). Then he came back and everything was all lovey dovey again until we talked about him moving in with me. He said he had concerns because of what happened and I told him I also had concerns (which I realize now is the initial reason I didn't want him moving in).

I told him that because I work from home that I need my space. He is disabled and doesn't have many hobbies (he said he did but I haven't seen any). I told him that I can not work with him hovering around me. He called me anti-social and told me I was mentally ill because I enjoy being alone. He also wanted to know why my relationship ended with my ex-husband and I explained to him in detail why I asked my ex to leave. I was very ill and my ex was not supportive of me.

Anyway, he asked me what was my idea of him giving me space? I answered "I need a routine, just like if you were going to work" (but go visit your friends or do something). I also brought up how we talked about making the upstairs of my house (which is empty) into a studio for him to do his so-called artwork (I have never seen him do any but he always talks about it), or the upstairs could be a place for him to be on his computer, watch TV, read books, whatever...

Well, he didn't respond well to that. Instead he said he will get an apartment (he has been staying with this lady friend of his, no, there is no romance there), and said to me "besides, it will be cheaper than moving in with you".

More negative words were exchanged on both sides and he ended up walking out on me (he has done this before). Honest? I feel such relief because I think I allowed him to emotionally drain me..

I even said to him that I don't think he is really disabled because he can do everything a "normal" person can do.. I think he just wants to collect money from the government and not work.

I also think for a 50 year old man, he is so childish as he always measures what he has done for me and throws things back in my face. I don't do that to him or anyone else.

As I said, I feel relieved right now and even started talking to other guys just to remind myself that there are other types of men out there.

Well, I needed to vent. I thought I was confused before but after talking about "my needs" I didn't like what I heard. I don't think I was asking for too much, do you?

Sunny





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