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Relationship Health Message Board


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Re: Angry
Aug 23, 2007
[QUOTE=sunnyrise;3171208]and Apple, you can let this guy destroy you until you have nothing left.. that's what my ex-boyfriend was doing to me, draining me emotionally and I could not take it anymore.

But if you enjoy letting yourself get destroyed and losing sense of what you are really all about, that's your choice. Just like women who let themselves get physically abused and just keep going back for more... why don't these women walk away from this type of abuse?

I have no idea, maybe deep down inside they enjoy it because they feel they deserve it. I don't know. Maybe you feel you deserve all this negativity... if that's love in your mind then I feel sorry for you.

Sunny[/QUOTE]


Just to clear up any misconceptions or myths people do have about staying in bad relationships, no, absolutely not, nobody LIKES being abused or treated badly. some people feel on some level they do deserve it, or maybe they don't deserve any better, but no one likes it or enjoys it at all.

The best analogy I can give you is a slot machine. No one likes to lose, but you play the slot machine because it's fun and you see people win big. So you play hoping you'll win big, too. That hope of winning big, those little pay outs, are what keeps you playing. An unhappy or even abusive relationship is the same thing. Feeling the warmth of another person, feeling arms wrapped around you, having someone to laugh with, hold hands with, make love with, is sooo much better to some people than just sitting alone in some dark little apartment with nothing to do, youplay the game, and those sweet moments are the little pay outs that keep you playing even when you pull the arm and you get neglect or verbal abuse or being stood up. You pull the arm again hoping next time you'll score three cherries and you'll get a great day with lots of love, meaningful touch and attention, etc.

But just to be clear, no one LIKES being abused. That's why they call it abuse. what they like is the love, the holding, the sex, the warmth, the companionship, the laughter. The abuse is what they think is the price you must pay in order to get it.





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