It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][COLOR="DarkOrchid"]Hey guys :) I'm sorry, [COLOR="Magenta"]Erin[/COLOR], I don't mean to hijack your thread but I figured here was a sensible place to post the latest with my ex. Today I asked out a girl at a local store and it turns out she has a boyfriend. So no luck there. But I am proud of myself for taking that step. Shortly after that I got a message from my ex to ask if I wanted to talk this evening. I resisted for a while but figured it couldn't do any harm.

We spoke for about an hour and I learned a lot about my ex's life which contradicted most of my suppositions. I think she's been messed around. Surprise, surprise. She sounded like the insecure girl I got to know eighteen months ago. She said she was fed up of work which is also the basis for her social life. She says all the guys are players who live with their parents and don't even have a car. I guess the guy with whom she cheated on me played her and suddenly doesn't seem such an attractive proposition anymore. She went on to say that she sometimes thinks about what a great boyfriend I was and how she is sure that I will make another girl very happy in due course. It was flattering but I was careful not to let her reel me in completely.

At the end of the conversation, however, she pulled her sucker punch. She wanted me to promise not to read anything into what she was about to say and I said I couldn't promise but she should say it anyway. She said she was feeling upset a few days ago and really missed me and wanted a cuddle from me, and only me. I told her I sometimes felt that way too :rolleyes: We said good night and she said "speak soon", which is what she said the last time we spoke over a month ago...

So there you go, [COLOR="Magenta"]Erin[/COLOR] - that's what happens when you maintain contact! [COLOR="Magenta"]~Tyger~[/COLOR], your intuition is tuned to perfection. I agree that she's not deliberately winding me up. I know I should tell her that I don't want to hear from her, but when she talks like this I can't help but entertain the possiblity that we might one day meet up again :( However, I'm determined not to put my life on hold while she resolves in her head if that's what she wants - I'm on holiday next week and I am one hundred percent single!

[COLOR="Magenta"]Erin[/COLOR], when you imagine other people and your ex having a fantastic time, remind yourself that the reality is probably less exotic. Fantastic parties only happen in films and during college years! I am sorry to hear that the news of the barbecue made you cry. I know what it's like to feel emotional at work and it's really not what you need. Do you confide in your colleagues? During my last break up I eventually enlisted the help of all my female colleagues and they all convinced me that I was better off without my ex :D

I guess that best answers your question: how do you move forward? You have to, have to, [I]have to[/I] enlist the support of your friends. I didn't do that at the beginning of that previous break up because it was all new to me and I was too proud to let other people in. But when it happened again I knew that I had to surround myself with family and friends. Alone time is a real no no. If you find yourself day dreaming or crying or looking at old photos or whatever, then immediately call one of your friends and arrange to do something. It always helps! Have you got many male friends? They will be good for your ego!

Thank you for the quote, [COLOR="Magenta"]~Tyger~[/COLOR]. I fully understand and appreciate it. I think I have told you guys before that there's a massive part of me that is full of expectation for the next adventure with the new girl. And that is a far more exciting prospect than getting back together with my ex. To be honest, as she droned on over the phone, I found myself wondering why I was bothering to listen :D It would have been nice to have had a conversation with that girl I asked out today instead, but there'll be another girl soon and eventually I'll find a single one who's interested :)

Just remind yourself, [COLOR="Magenta"]Erin[/COLOR], that it is perfectly possible for you to feel about somebody new the way you felt about your ex. Love is essentially nothing more than a manifestation of electrical impulses; once we experience it we crave it, and it is natural to crave the most recent experience. But when you break the cycle and take a chance on someone new, you will feel it again - but in a whole new way :) I promise you now that you will one day understand what I'm wittering on about! I don't mean to sound patronising because I'm sure you know this for yourself, but at times like this we all need reminding.[/COLOR][/FONT]

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:41 PM.

© 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!