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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I know exactly what you mean about the 'sitting at home on a Friday/Saturday night' syndrome. I go through that almost every weekend, and its no fun in the slightest. It seems to magnify the empty space that should be filled. It is so much harder to distract oneself on a weekend, when the rest of the country is out basking in the sunshine with their significant other, or playing with their kids, or partying with their boyfriends and friends. It makes it worse when the support network around you - your friends and family - have all got partners too. I know how this feels all too well. I never really see my friends because they are so wrapped up in their partners. None are married yet, but it seems only inevitable. I was the first to be in a long-term relationship, when all my friends were single and partying, and now they're all settled down, and I've been long left, by myself, with noone to share the lonely weekends with... unless I submit to being severely 3rd wheeled. Which I don't need to tell you, is not exactly tremendous fun.

I too try to fill my weekends with plans as quickly as possible, to avoid the nothingness of my own company. I have to deal with my own company all through the week, it feels like I should have something to look forward to on the weekends. But not so. I usually end up waiting for the guy I'm seeing to call, and lately he hasn't been, which tells me its ended, and I'm at negative square one again. Its even harder when you don't even know where you stand.

Its only been a few months, Erin, so make sure you're not too hard on yourself. Considering that, you've done heaps with your life. This is excellent. Keep it up. It took me about 2 years to get over my ex. Now we are fantastic friends, and he is also helping me through this current heartache. So who knows, in time, perhaps you will be platonic friends with your ex, too. I never would have thought for a second I could stop loving him, and have a friendship without forever wanting more -- now its a reality and I can honestly say that I love him only as a friend, and want the best for him. And that is comforting. Anything can happen, really.

Hold to the thought that the only way to go is forwards, Erin. This happening now is better than it having happened in another 5 years time, just when you're waiting for the ring, and ready to have kids, and your time is ticking away rapidly. It has happened now, when you are still young, able, and hitting your career hard. So it is a step forward, not back. Remember that. I wish I could say the same myself, but unfortunately I've caught myself up in a bad cycle of neediness and low self-worth, and I am being used. I have not even so much as recieved a phonecall or txt over the last week, and I think the man I am seeing has left me without even bothering to let me know about it. You see -- there are much worse scenario's out there :(





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