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:( I came here to ask for help and support! It's been my first day of NC.

I was with my boyfriend for about 3 years, we met in my country while studying but after about 9 months he had to go back to his country as he could not find a job he liked here. So our relationship then became long-distance. He broke up with me about 6 months ago as he could not continue long-distance anymore and he said he had no solution for us. He was too scared for me to move closer to him and he did not find a job nearby he wanted. We were also arguing becasue of the distance. I was pretty devasted about the break up, really hurt. I wanted to cut all contact straight away but he did not want that. He was too upset so we kind of stayed in contact but it was not easy for me.

We agreed to meet up to talk face to face about everything.

I met him last weekend and we did spend a nice weekend. At first it was very strange between us as he was a little distant but then I told him that I came to see him so if he wants to stay distant with me, it'd be shame as it may be the last time I see him. And then we did have a nice time. He took me out, we talked about our situation and it certainly helped us to be able to discuss things face to face rather than on the phone or by email. It has made such difference to see the person's face.

Basically I wanted to make the situation clear between us so I asked him few questions to clarify it for myself. He explained to me that he does not want to have a long-distance relationship as it does not make him happy and he was also too scared for me to move closer to him as he was fearing that we would not be able to survive as a couple. He said that he is trying to convince himself that it's for be the best to end the relationship and to move on but he says he cannot help worrying he will loose me and he may regret it later if he realises that I am the girl for him. He says he is not sure about many things but he is sure he does not want to have a long-distance relationship anymore. He said that he cares for me still a lot and he likes me.

So I told him if the relationship is over and he is moving on, I need to do the same. I said to him that because of the way I feel towards him, I need to cut all contact with him and try to move on without him. I said to him that if I stay in contact with him, I might not be able to move on. He said that he understands and he wants to respect my choice to cut all contact but he says that he's too sad to think that he would never ever be able to see me or talk to me again. But I explained to him why I need to have NC with him. He seems to understand it. He said that maybe one day we can get together again but I told him that I cannot wait for something that may not happen. I said that I am not happy doing this but I feel like I have to.

The thing is when we met last weekend, we were behaving as a couple. We were basically doing things as if we have never broken up. We were hugging each other, holding our hands, kissing, watching a movie together in each other's arms, basically as before.. and then when I had to leave him, saying good bye it was too hard for me as I knew that in the end it was only a weekend. So I told him that as much as I enjoyed it with him and it really was a nice weekend, I cannot be in this situation anymore. This was last night and he said that he respects it and we agreed that we won't contact each other. He said that he hopes we can re-new our contact after a while but I am not sure with the history we have that I can be his friend. Moreover, I cannot imagine and I would not want to face the fact that he could meet someone new. I would rather not know about it.

I realised that we are so much better when we meet face to face. But we could not make it closer to each other. I am so sad about it. But he chose to leave me, to end it, to move on without me and he told me yesterday that sometimes he is looking for the perfect girl, the ideal and he is not sure he is doing the right thing by doing that. I feel not good enough in this case :(

I just wanted to know if you think cutting all contact for good could result of not having the chance of being with that person again. I worry that if we loose contact, we might loose our feelings. We might not be ever together again. Do you think it's a risk?





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