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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hopelessly Single
Sep 1, 2007
Hi everyone, ok so here's my problem:

I am 28, almost 29, I'm a single guy. I haven't had a girlfriend in years. It was so long ago it's not even worth mentioning at this point. I have been out on a few dates with different girls over the years but nothing serious. I would like to have a girlfriend, I'm not just looking to date random girls that I just see once or twice and then things don't end up working out, but instead, I am looking to have a committed relationship with someone.

Now for my problem,I am quiet, I am shy, and basically I don't know how to get what I want. There is this one particuar girl who is a customer that comes into my job that I have an interest in. Shes very attractive, seems like an all around nice person from what I can tell and I would love to ask her out but everytime I try I am at a complete loss for words and I never end up making the move. The thing that complicates the situation with her is that I know very little about her and I don't know the most important thing which is whether or not she has a boyfriend. I have asked my friends for advice, I told them that I was considering starting a little conversation with her one day and I was going to ask her if she had a boyfriend or not and if she said no then I would proceed to ask her out. They are telling me thats not a good thing to say because if she knows I am asking about her having a boyfriend then shes going to know where I am heading and shes going to put her defenses up and she is likely to reject me. They are telling me just to plain ask her out, however, I think its polite to atleast ask if shes single first. I mean shes a good looking girl in her mid 20's theres atleast a moderate chance she might be in a relationship with someone. The other problem is that I have never had a conversation with her on a personal level. I work in a bank and me and her have had business conversations I would say two or three times over the course of the past year and any other times I have seen her it was just a simple,casual exchange between us like a quick "hello, how's it going?" that type of thing. So I feel that it would definately be hard to start any type of a personal conversation with her at all because it has never happened before between us and like I said I don't even know if I am talking to a girl thats available or not.

Does anyone have any ideas? I made a similar post about two months ago or so and I didn't get very many responses so I figured I would give it another try. I really like her and I am tired of being alone. What I would really like to know from you all is what exactly should I say to her? How do I start a conversation that doent seem threatening but at the same time lets her know how I feel about her? ANY suggestions would help me at this point. Thank you all in advance.

Matt





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