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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hey all.. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 months now and things are going great for the most part. We've been talking about living together for the last month or so.. I know it's too soon to do this so I'm patiently waiting for time to pass. He currently lives in a very small apartment and he knows I would never live there with him because of how small it is. He was talking about buying a house even before we got serious with each other but it seemed like something that was just in the back of his head. But now this week he has gone hard core with the whole buying house thing. He's got approved for a loan, went looking at houses and he is at a meeting with a real estate agent as we speak. Do you think he's doing all this because he wants us to live together and he thinks that if he has a house I'll agree to living with him? Also, I feel kind of left out. I have been wanting to buy a house too but now I have to put those plans on hold because I don't know where our relationship is going and it would be very dumb for both of us to buy a house. How has everyone else handled this type of situation?
Well, I dont' think anyone here can really know what he's up to since we don't know him or anything, but if I had to guess, I'd say no, he's NOT planning on moving in with you. You know he's buying it so it's not a surprise, and he did NOT consult you about price, location, any of that, he just went ahead and is buying it. Has he even taken you with him to go look at it? Has he asked you what you think of it, etc? From your post, and from the fact that you say you feel left out, I gather he hasn't. You probably feel left out because you have been. He's probably thinking that IF sometime in the distant future, you two decide to live together, you will have no qualms about moving into whatever house he is living in at the time. But I really don't think he's making plans or thinking about you moving in now. If that's what he was thinking, he'd tell you and would have included you more in the process.
I agree with the previous poster. If he plans to live with you, why don't he involve you so you will find something which suits both of you. May be you can get bigger and better place if you join your finance. Doesn't look like he takes this relationship serious.
He is an adult living in a small apartment and wants to buy a house. I don't know where his head is as far as you two living together, but I wouldn't automatically assume this is why he is buying a house.

On the same note, if you want to buy a house you shouldn't let where this relationship may or may not go affect that. You have only known him for 3 months and you shouldn't let that get in the way of something you want. If and when you do decide to live together you can discuss what to do with your or his home.

Don't read to into it. He is buying a home and investing in his future. There is no reason you can't do the same. Relationships come with no guarentees so you really shouldn't put your future on hold because of one.





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