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I will try to be fairly quick.

I am 24, she is 22. Girl had been obsessing over me for 3 years before we finally officially met at a party, and from then, it was history.

A bit about her: she is a bit spoiled but has a good head on her shoulders. She was physically abused by her father for the first 12 years of her life. She was raped in HS one time, from too much alcohol. She has a good heart and does have confidence in the life she is living. She is very extroverted, and is a diarrhea of emotions. She pretends to everyone she is happy all the time so as to not allow to waste anyone's time to try to help her---except me.

A bit about me: I am an introvert. I don't have any parental "issues." I am not the most confident person, but can be at times. I am not clingy, I would enjoy a couple days apart from her whereas she always needed me around.

Basically, the relationship begins after a night of meeting with a group of mutual friends, she loses her virginity to me, and it is assumed we are going out. I am fine with that, I really like this girl. She would get really emotional at times when I couldn't come over to her house and just stupid little things. It would then push me away, and it basically snowballed. She would always tell me ALL THE TIME "i love you" "you are gorgeous" and would ALWAYS need to hold my hand, and I struggle with emotional talk, but I do have my moments when I shine through, but it ends up not being enough for her. She would always say "I need you to tell me these things" (total and constant affirmation.)Things spiral down and after 7 months of going out and being very serious, she breaks up with me. After that, I am a diarrhea of emotions, telling everything I had felt about her, and even giving her a 20 page letter about my life which includes her in it. I assume, worst case scenerio, she throws it away, oh well.

3 months go by, she dates a couple guys, I date a girl, and at the end of the 3 months, we meet up at a party, both single, and she says "I miss you, etc." I say the same. End up going back to a friends house and hooking up. We talk the next day about the future, that perhaps, we can work through our problems and be together again.

2 months I fought for her, being a diarhea of emotions, and just begging and trying to get her to say "I want you." We act like a couple, but aren't. End of the 2 months I say I am done trying, and basically 5 days later I get the call "I want to be with you." I am elated, but do not show it. Anyways, we go out again. I ever-so-gradually ease back the constant showing of emotions because I get comfortable. She would say every now and then "What happened to the emotional guy you were 2 months ago?" I assure her it is still "there" but I am finding it harder and harder to find things to tell her about her that I love.

She continues the I love you's all the time, the constant constant affirmation, and would always ask for it in return. I sometimes shined, but usually failed. I would say things at random, like I love you, or "your beautiful" but it was sparse (by her definition.) She would get pissed off, and it would in turn push me away. I am of the belief less is better, so it means more, whereas for her, more is better.

I schedule a 2 week vacation with my 2 best friends in Cancun in August, missing her birthday in the process. I make it up to her though, and take her out before I leave, and we have a nice day together. I get to Cancun and in some way, shape, or form, contact her every day. She appreicates it. She says "I hope we can use this time apart to have God bring us closer" and stuff like that, and I reciprocate.

On the eve of Hurricane Dean, I check her facebook and see she had taken off 2 quotes concerning her love for me. I send a quick email asking if there was a problem and that I love her/miss her etc. Next day I call and ask "Whats up" She says "you wont like you facebook message." I ask "did you break up with me." She says "yeah, kinda. I AM SHOCKED. I say "I always pictured a life with you (things she has told me, we had even talked about moving in together and marriage) and I feel so lost to which she replies "your a big boy, you can figure it out." *****!! I ask if another guy is involved, she says "no." She just continues to say she is much happier now without me, and can sleep at night now (something she couldnt do unless I was there.)

I get an email 3 days later saying "I am glad you turned your back on me. Have your ex gf come get your clothes from my house. Oh, and please return my key to my house or I am getting my locks changed." I LOST IT!!! I sent an email basically calling her a heartless ***** for dumping me via email the night of a Hurricane whilst my mom is in the hospital back at home. Next day I get an email saying "maybe I am a heartless *****, but you were a careless boyfriend." And "I am glad I met Josh, he is a really nice guy, and I can date whom I want when I see fit." (She met this guy at a race while I was in Cancun and I had a hunch she was after him.)

She ruins my trip in a nutshell. I am depressed, and still am. I text her saying "I am sorry for the nasty namecalling. I can't live with hatred in my heart, and I am manning up an apologizing." She says "Thank you."

As we speak, she is totally parading around her happiness, and has away messages up telling everyone how happy she is and also "sweet dreams of you" (guy she is seeing now). I think, as I step back, that her insecurities are caused by her 12 years of fatherly physical abuse, and I can't be the one to say "hey, go get some counseling, because if you do, maybe we can work out." I guess I just need to get my feelings out, I am depressed, I can NOT think of her with anything I am doing, and think I burned my bridge forever. She totally rebounded to this guy and I am left shaking my head. Everyone keeps telling me "she isnt fit to be in a relationship, she has issues to work out, but will probably have issues her whole life." I miss her so much, she was my everything, and I am sure at times, I took her for granted, as did she, but I feel like I will never meet a woman who will live up to her (we both are Christians, dont want children, want to travel, both are involved in running.)

Can someone help me gain some clarity or shake me from this depression? This feeling sucks...

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