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[QUOTE=monk1e;3202514]you guys are incredible...

thank you for all of your advice. I understand what all of you are saying I really do. I haven't been in contact with him and he has not beein in contact with me since last week. I am not expecting him to and I will not text but it is hard. Especially when I know that is I did pick up he phone, we could talk about nothing important for hours. I could see him and my stomach would do summersaults. I'm not going to call, I have the strength not to, but it's hard when it has been 3 years since I have felt this feeling....I just don't want to let it go.

Thank you for all of your advise. I'm going to take a bit of it all. I'm walking away and I'm not going to call, but if he does call....down the line, in the future and I am stil single. I don't think I can turnaway.

I have a date on thursday...we shall see how this goes!

Thanks everybody

Monk1e xx[/QUOTE]

Monk, I only read the first post and this one, and skimmed through the rest, so forgive me if I repeat, but...

It does sound like you felt an amazing connection, but really you didn't spend enough time with him to really know if it was mutual or not. We all know of well known couples who got together or who started, well, basically an emotional affair while still married to other people. After divorced, they immediately took their relationship to a serious level and were married very soon after, and are still very happy today, so I don't think it's true at all that you can't divorce or break up and then jump right into another serious relationship. Of course you can. Sometimes you can jump into the serious relationship before you've officially broken up. It's totally possible to meet the right one for you while you are still married to the wrong person and hesitating could mean losing your soul mate for life.

BUT, that having been said, I'm not sure this is the case here. Both the men in the cases I'm thinking of maintained friendships with the women they secretly loved for years, even though their wives weren't crazy about it. One accepted the "friendship" though it was all over town, and even the country, that it was more than a friendship, but she reportedly found a note in his golf bag that read "I love you (other woman's name)" and after finding that, the wife initiated divorce proceedings, and the other woman got a divorce, and when his divorce was final, they immediately started dating publically and they were married about 5 months later. almost 10 years and a baby later, they're still together and very happy.

but your guy told his girl up front every little detail, which I'm not saying is a bad thing, but of course she would be upset and insist he break it off completely with you. And of course you don't want to sneak around, but it would seem that if he really wanted to keep things going with you, if he just couldn't keep away from you, he would stick to the "just friends" thing, and introduce you to his girl like he first planned, and sell it to her as a friendship, and keep it platonic, and if their relationship continued to go south, then end it and be with you like he claimed he wanted all along. But he didn't do this. He just cut you out. AND you only have his word that it was at his girlfriend's request. It might not have been. He might have just been having some short term fun and felt it had played out.

In short, I really don't think you missed out on anything here, so don't fret or feel like a big chance passed you by. I really don't think that's the case. Even if he wasn't quite ready to let go of his current relationship, I think he would have made strides to move in that direction if he were really that unhappy and if he really felt as strongly for you as you felt for him. I don't think he'll call again, but if he does, tell him you can just be friends until he's physically and emotionally ready to get out of the situation that he claims makes him oh so unhappy and be with you 100% because that's what you deserve and you won't settle for less.





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