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I'm having difficulty figuring something out, and I was hoping with some insight maybe this thing can be smoothed over.

What happened was basically this. Had a buddy since 6th grade. He calls me one day and tries to introduce me to this girl. So the 4 of us meet up... me, this girl, my buddy, and his gf. His gf and this girl are best friends, so that's how he met up with her to introduce her to me.

So to speed things up, we date. Things are great. The relationship turned physical, but only one time. Things still seemed great. Then, it happened. Her job closed down. From then on, everything was pure hell. A series of things kicked her in the chest with losing her job. She tried everything... monster.com, yahoo job searches, newspapers, everything. She tried so hard, couldn't find a job. Her parents threatened to kick her out of the house because of her not having a job. She had credit card companies calling her all day long. It was very stressful. She kind of had a breakdown and kept to herself, pushing everyone away, including me. Myself, her friends, and even her cousin were all talking like, "what's going on with her?"

Then, the bombshell. My buddy who introduced me to her? He was dating her. They dated 5 days, and began dating about a week after we split. She split it off because she realized it was a mistake. I also found out she was being a little mouthy about me too, saying this and that. For example, probably the most harsh thing she said was that she considered me to "sort of" be a one night stand. Well, she started IMing me on the computer. I ignored her every time. About two months later (last week) she IMs me and I feel compelled to answer. So I lay into her, basically telling her exactly what I thought of her and her actions.

What'd she do? It surprised me. She sat there, admitted she was wrong, admitted her mistakes, and said "I deserve everything you're saying to me." I was shocked, yet in a good way. Then we slowed down and had a heart to heart conversation.

I explained to her what bothered me. I told her it kind of bugged me that she seemed to have a slight feeling of "grass is greener." Like, if she saw some other guy, she'd wonder what it'd be like to be with him. Which is natural, right? But I think she felt a tad bit more heavily about it than the typical person does. She acknowledged that and said it was stupid of her because once we split she realized she made a huge mistake.

Okay, fine. So what about dating my buddy? Well, she explained something to me. The split up between her and I was strictly between her and I. She said she felt depressed, and like she emotionally crashed. I had everything, it seemed. A good job, I'm in college, about to graduate, looking for an internship, new car, great friends, supportive family. Her? Her job closed down, she wasn't in school, old car that barely runs, friends turned their back on her, her family is about to kick her out of the house. So, then her mind started tickin. She realized that our relationship had turned physical. Hmm... So WHY would I be interested in her? She had been under the impression that I was after her for sex, considering we were going through very different things at the time and the things in her life were NOT going well at all. That's why she split up with me. I talked to several close female friends about it, and they said it's understandable. Maybe not the smartest move, because she didn't really try to talk to me about it beforehand, but it was understandable as to why she felt that way (in their opinion).

She said right away when she became single, my buddy dumped his gf (my ex's friend). Suddenly he was putting 120% into getting with her. My ex says she declined, multiple times. However he just kept pursuing and kept saying, why not? Why not? It's not like things can get any worse, maybe we can make things good together? Eventually, she caught the bait, went out with him twice, and five days later they split. She cut all ties, all contacts, blocked him on the computer and blocked his cell number.

She has acknowledged her mistakes and apologized for her actions. She's apologized to me multiple times saying she feels awful that she made me lose a friend. My thoughts? He wasn't that good of a friend to me if he had the audacity to run after my ex girlfriend days after we split, THEN proceed to laugh at me and taunt me about how he's got her now. (But that's a whole other story that isn't relevant). So she does seem to be apologetic, and she does seem to be relatively sincere about what she's saying to me.

We've had multiple talks. Every day for about 1-2 hours since last week. Things seem to be going more solid. She's got a new job. She works for an insurance company. She has her own office, great hours, great pay. She absolutely loves it and she's convinced that she got the wake up call she deserved when she "crashed and burned." Now, she dug herself out and she's doing good. In fact, I even told her I was proud of her, because I knew she'd make it, she just needed to find her nitch. She said that means a lot. She said only 4 people have told me they were proud of me. My mom, my aunt, my boss, and you...

She said to me a day or two later... "This may be a ridiculous question, and I'm sorry if it's out of the question, but maybe we can hang out sometime and go get some ice cream?" I said of course we could.

So, that's where things are at. I no longer talk to that guy, nor does she. She acknowledged her mistakes and seemed sorry for them. She seems to have turned over to be "herself" again. But, who knows? My thoughts are, if this happened once, what'll prevent it from happening again?

Should I go for it? Should I be overly hesitant and cautious? Should I ignore her at all costs and move on? I feel as though people can make mistakes, and a lot of people deserve a second chance. It was extremely commendable in my book when she could stand up, admit she was wrong, and say "I deserve it."

Blah... Thoughts?





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