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Relationship Health Message Board

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I think what I've realized about the 'firends with benefits' thing is that some guys give off the vibe that they are the type to get involved in one and others do not and women will pick up on that. Guys may do the approaching, but women ultimately do the choosing. With that in mind, what I've learned about women is that most of them like to put men in a category. Not all women are up for one night stands and casual sex, but the ones that are will basically look at you like, "this guy is date worthy, this guy is marriage and kids worthy, this guy is one night stand worthy, and this guy is friends with benefits worthy." If a girl considers you to be 'friends with benefits' worthy, she also has to be in that place in life where she actually wants that. She might not at the time you meet her, so It's really about catching her at the right time when your intentions and her intentions are inline. There really is no secret to it other than that.

Of course, you can always act like a player and fool a girl wanting a relationship into thinking things are going somewhere when your actual intentions are to never allow that. In that case, you could literally have a casual sex relationship with her for months without her ever knowing about it. That's being pretty dishonest and low though, so I hope you won't consider doing that.

Trust me though, this casual sex thing is not all it's cracked up to be and often causes your life much more hassle and trouble than it's worth. I was strictly a relationship type guy for the longest time before I would even consider just having a casual thing and the more I did it, the more I hated myself for it.

I'll explain what I mean...these things never end with a handshake and a 'take care of yourself'. No, the truth of the matter is that it's doomed to come to end and that ending will cause pain. Think it won't? Guess again. The way these things end are always in the form of either being blown off completely out of the blue one day and never hearing from her again, a big fight over whether or not you should actually get together, the 'OMG I think I'm pregnant' scare, or 'I just found out I have an STD'.

Some of that seems pretty funny, but believe me it's no joke. These things can and do happen EVERYDAY. There is A LOT more risk in getting involved with someone you don't intend to ever love than there is for someone you do.

It sounds like the women in your life consider you to be a relationship kind of guy...well, consider yourself lucky, my friend. That will take you a lot farther in life than being a player or a piece of man meat. ;)

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