It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Okay im sure most of you know, im the inexperienced, insecure, low self esteemed guy who has had 3 rough relationships. On the other hand, this is the best so far, and we've been together 6 months.

So i made a thread awhile ago, i did not know how to react when she told me she was raped before...twice...well i set it aside, and helped her just leave it. But last night while i was at work, she went to her friend's place (who lives with her boyfriend). Apparently the last time she was there, he kept making perverted remarks and trying to come on to her (right next to his girlfriend too). Last night he continued with the harassment for awhile, except later it got to the point where he took my girlfriend to another area, and held her hands and attempted to kiss her. She refused, and yelled for help (the guy's girlfriend came...ironically). That ended, i was still at work, then she had to get a ride home from somebody else, two guys, one was her friend's boyfriend (another one), and some random guy. Apparently the trip was okay, they seemed nice, but after they dropped her off, they waited outside of her window, and right when she was about to change she noticed them.

This makes me sick. I know we cant swear on this site, but its really hard not to. We had a whole talk about this, and i am telling her, that if she associates herself with bad people, she will either be seen as a bad person or have bad things done to her. She went to see her friend (decent girl, i met her before, mild mannered but shes way too influenced by her scum boyfriend), so i figured it'd be okay.

I told her to tell her brother (who is a US marine), she said no, i told her to tell her mom, she said no, i told her to tell her step-dad, she said no, i told her to call the police, she said no. The reason for this is because the guy who did it is apparently such a lowlife that he is known around the area, him and his brothers, who sell drugs, assault people, all sorts of stupid things. She is afraid to tell anyone because she doesnt want any harm to come to her, or her family. I told her that if she told her brother, he'd handle it, since he is skilled with weapons and martial arts, she said she doesnt want to see him get hurt either.

She is blaming herself for having all of these mishaps, she says before me, besides the two big-time rapes, she had a few other really minor ones, where nothing sexual was done but things were attempted to be forced, but she got away. She is a smaller girl, so its difficult for her to defend herself. I am a small, soft spoken guy, so i cannot do anything either. I just ordered her a small thing of pepper spray off of the internet, and i know her, she will be too scared to use it if anything like that were to happen. How do i talk her out of this (ridiculous) mentality?

I already told her that if she wants to be safe, she has to listen to my advice. Dont go to places where stupid scum people like that guy will be there, if you're at a place with scum, you'll be seen as one of them, and you'll probably be involved with something bad if not you have something bad to do. I told her i dont want her to dressing infront of the window, because there are sick people who will watch and possibly stalk (i told her this awhile ago). I told her that she needs to not be so nice to people, being nice is great and everything, but if you are the slightest bit nice that gives some braindead people the okay to harass the hell out of her (i told her this awhile ago too). I told her that under any circumstances do i want her going over there again, and i said if she does, i will tell her brother (who is a pretty close friend of mine now) or the authorities.

So my questions are:
1) How do i get her out of this ridiculous mentality? She is helpless, yes, but she can avoid situations so the odds of it happening drastically reduce.
2) I promised her i wouldnt tell anyone, and i wont. But i do feel that she should tell the authorities, or get someone to do so. Despite the harm that may be threatened against her and her family.
3) What ways can i keep her safe? I am a small guy, soft spoken, so i cant talk bad to people, and i cant exactly intimidate people. I always carry a knife around me for protection though. The advice i gave her i know she'll follow, but i am scared for her. Now she is saying she doesnt want friends, she doesnt want to know anyone besides her immediate family and myself.

Please help, also, the sooner the better. Since this is a fresh problem, i figured i could get fresh advice to immediately put into play. Im just horribly stressed over this.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:05 AM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!