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[QUOTE=ChronicallyFatigued;3212639]

So, care to elaborate on what 'takes a turn' means?[/QUOTE]

Sure.
According to my BF, I've been alone too long and I don't understand that much about being in a relationship in the first place. In the beginning I studied too much for my BS degree. He wanted me to quit school (and still does) but I want my Masters. So, now that I have finished my BS degree I only go part time. He resists that sometimes, so I just don稚' talk about it. We do fine unless I get too stressed over finals or something. I blew up on him during a statistics class that was driving me crazy and we broke up the second time. (about 4 or 5 years ago) then about once a year we break up.
It always surrounds major stress in my life or an increase in responsibility.
I took a second job at a gas station before my BS degree was finished to get money to fix my car. We broke up during that time period.
I took another second job (again for more money before I was done with school) and we broke up for the fourth time. I just quit an IT job that was getting me no-where to take an assistants manager's job. He didn't like that decision. And then we broke up again (number 5).

Number one was over a previous boyfriend that was calling me. I quit talking to the guy.

None of these breakups are directly related to the job change, but my behavior changes and I become a bit less attentive to his needs. I try to take care of the basics, but sometimes he seems to come at me from out of no-where with something I have failed him on.

When I take a second job, that means --a part time job on top of my full time job and my school. I really can't depend on him for money, because he doesn't have anymore than I have. I strive to do better financially and I get pulled in too many directions. THat is when we get into trouble and he breaks up.


This last time, I had just recovered from shoulder surgery. I was having a hard time at my It job. It had too much drama, new management, and things were getting crazy. I started looking for another job and found an assistant managers job. He did not want me to quit the IT job, but I just couldn't stand to work there anymore. SO I took the new job. Leaving my old job was stressful for several reasons. I had a really hard time dealing with it. I had been talking to him about it (the stress). He was tired of hearing it, so I just tried to manage it on my own. He had told me around the time of my surgery that he had a sour shoulder too. I kind of ignored it. I really did not think his shoulder hurt him all that much. He works out, but he has bad knees, allergies, a bad back and NOW a shoulder.
Anyway, he went to the doctor and got a cortisone shot. When he told me about the shot, I said: "What's wrong with your shoulder". I remembered that he had said his shoulder hurt him, but I had forgot about it temporarily. That was probably because I was busy with my own stress and because I had just had a beer and was kind of trying to relax. He got mad at me for forgetting about the shoulder.

This was the thing that caused us to fight.
But, we didn't break up just then.
He later brought over my birthday gift (unexpected and a week late) and just dropped it off on my couch unwrapped. He ment well I think, but I was still remembering our fight that morning and I didn't respond well. I said things I'm not proud of (from hurt). I called myself his Sl8t. And, he broke up with me. The thing is that it built to that. We had been bickering over my new job and a Friday night class I had taken. I have since dropped the friday night class, but I did accept the new job offer and am working there now.

Me and the BF are talking now. He said he knows it isn't ALL my fault. I am trying to be there for him. However, I think I will probably mess up again in the future. I知 just not that attentive by nature. I get caught up in whatever I知 doing sometimes and forget the rest of the world. I知 really bad at family things and things like that.


I hope this is enough info. I'm tired of writing. :)

Thanks
[QUOTE=CCROBIN;3213406]According to my BF, I've been alone too long and I don't understand that much about being in a relationship in the first place. In the beginning I studied too much for my BS degree. He wanted me to quit school (and still does) but I want my Masters. So, now that I have finished my BS degree I only go part time. He resists that sometimes, so I just don稚' talk about it. We do fine unless I get too stressed over finals or something. I blew up on him during a statistics class that was driving me crazy and we broke up the second time. (about 4 or 5 years ago) then about once a year we break up.[/QUOTE]

School isn't a forever thing. I'm sorry, but I think it's crap that he wanted you (and still wants you) to quit. He should be understanding and supportive of the fact that you are trying to better yourself and not add to your stress by breaking up with you. Yes, finals are stressful and getting your Masters is stressful, but it won't be going on forever. You are trying to better yourself and if he doesn't like that then that is his problem. What does he want you to do? Does he want you to be a housewife? I just can't understand why he can't be supportive of you continuing your education. It sounds a little selfish on his end to me.

[QUOTE=CCROBIN;3213406]It always surrounds major stress in my life or an increase in responsibility.
I took a second job at a gas station before my BS degree was finished to get money to fix my car. We broke up during that time period.
I took another second job (again for more money before I was done with school) and we broke up for the fourth time. I just quit an IT job that was getting me no-where to take an assistants manager's job. He didn't like that decision. And then we broke up again (number 5).[/QUOTE]

So basicly every time he doesn't agree with what you do in your life he breaks up with you? What does he do for a living? It's like he is punishing you when he doesn't like what you do.

[QUOTE=CCROBIN;3213406]Number one was over a previous boyfriend that was calling me. I quit talking to the guy.[/QUOTE]

And no doubt that still wasn't good enough for him so he broke up with you. He seems to like calling the shots over you and you seem to think you have to let him. Why is that?

[QUOTE=CCROBIN;3213406]None of these breakups are directly related to the job change, but my behavior changes and I become a bit less attentive to his needs. I try to take care of the basics, but sometimes he seems to come at me from out of no-where with something I have failed him on.[/QUOTE]

So do you don't anything that makes him happy? He is so quick to tell you when you should quit something or to tell you that you have wronged him somehow, but does he ever congratulate you on your accomplishments? Does he ever say "good job on getting an A" or "you are so amazing for working two jobs and getting your Masters"?

[QUOTE=CCROBIN;3213406]When I take a second job, that means --a part time job on top of my full time job and my school. I really can't depend on him for money, because he doesn't have anymore than I have. I strive to do better financially and I get pulled in too many directions. THat is when we get into trouble and he breaks up.[/QUOTE]

Wow, what a horrible quality in a woman! :rolleyes: I get the impression he doesn't want to see you succeed and do better than him. You are not doing anything wrong by wanting better for yourself. Why is he so down on it?

[QUOTE=CCROBIN;3213406]This last time, I had just recovered from shoulder surgery. I was having a hard time at my It job. It had too much drama, new management, and things were getting crazy. I started looking for another job and found an assistant managers job. He did not want me to quit the IT job, but I just couldn't stand to work there anymore. SO I took the new job. Leaving my old job was stressful for several reasons. I had a really hard time dealing with it. I had been talking to him about it (the stress). He was tired of hearing it, so I just tried to manage it on my own. He had told me around the time of my surgery that he had a sour shoulder too. I kind of ignored it. I really did not think his shoulder hurt him all that much. He works out, but he has bad knees, allergies, a bad back and NOW a shoulder.
Anyway, he went to the doctor and got a cortisone shot. When he told me about the shot, I said: "What's wrong with your shoulder". I remembered that he had said his shoulder hurt him, but I had forgot about it temporarily. That was probably because I was busy with my own stress and because I had just had a beer and was kind of trying to relax. He got mad at me for forgetting about the shoulder.[/QUOTE]

I still don't see the big deal. Yes, it sucks that you forgot about his shoulder, but it is a little coincidental that now he has a bad shoulder because you are getting surgery. Was it a plea for attention from a spoiled child who wants his way? Maybe.

[QUOTE=CCROBIN;3213406]This was the thing that caused us to fight.
But, we didn't break up just then.
He later brought over my birthday gift (unexpected and a week late) and just dropped it off on my couch unwrapped. He ment well I think, but I was still remembering our fight that morning and I didn't respond well. I said things I'm not proud of (from hurt). I called myself his Sl8t. And, he broke up with me. The thing is that it built to that. We had been bickering over my new job and a Friday night class I had taken. I have since dropped the friday night class, but I did accept the new job offer and am working there now.[/QUOTE]

I don't understand. It seems you are just bending over backwards trying to please a man who is never pleased. What does he want from you? He doesn't seem to be happy with anything you do and then blames you for it.

[QUOTE=CCROBIN;3213406]Me and the BF are talking now. He said he knows it isn't ALL my fault. I am trying to be there for him. However, I think I will probably mess up again in the future. I知 just not that attentive by nature. I get caught up in whatever I知 doing sometimes and forget the rest of the world. I知 really bad at family things and things like that.[/QUOTE]

Honestly, I just don't think you are compatible. You are very driven and independent. He is happy where he is and a little needy. He wants you to come to his level and you just can't, it's not your way. It's neither one of your faults really, it's just who you are. You could keep going on this on again off again rollercoaster ride, but it will get old quick (if it hasn't already). It may be time to just cut your losses and find a guy that can handle your need to succeed and let him find a woman who will make him feel needed and taken care of.





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