It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I have had enough
Sep 15, 2007
As most of you know, it is coming up to three months since my boyfriend and i broke up.
We intially agreed that we give eachother some time and space but we kept in contact.
I went on holiday for two weeks. Came back on Thursday.
Before I went away on holiday, we had a chat. First of all, he kept telling me we shouldnt get back together, i hurt him too much, that i just didnt get the hint (which i didnt get because he kept telling me he did want to get back together but needed to sort himself out. when he did say lets get back together, i would say well lets not rush into it) etc. When I calmly said I'd respect his decision if this is what he wanted, he got angry and started shouting at me. He made me cry in the end, he was very nasty- asking me why all the pressure was on him all the time, asked why i never could make a decision etc etc. Then he apologised and flippantly said "well lets give it another go, why not?" By this point I was very upset and emotional so I told him we would have to talk more when I returned from holiday.
We kept in touch whilst I was away. I called him twice but he never returned my calls. But he sent me lots of messages.
One night he said he wanted to send me something regarding about relationship. But he never did. Instead he said he couldnt talk because it was his mum's birthday and he had to take her out.
The next day he agreed with me when I said we needed to talk calmly when I got back to reach a firm decision.
I got back thursday. I messages him when I got back. I didnt get a message til 6 hours later because he was taking part in a religious ceremony with his dad. He called me later on in the evening as he was on his way to see his best friend who he hasnt seen in 9 months because she had been travelling. Anyway, we had a nice chat and he said he would call me Friday.
I message him Friday evening, asking him if he is in the area, to meet up. I was with my friends enjoying a meal. He messages me saying he isnt in the area, and will cal me soon. He did call but I missed his calls. When I got home I called him but he missed my calls. Anyway, he calls me this morning. We have a chat about hwat we have been up to. He was in the area I was in yesterday. He went for dirinks with his friends. I didnt catch the time tho- did he lie to me? was he around in the area in the evening? or during the day?
anyway, he said he would call me later on in the day today because he needed to go out into his garden to listen to the radio because his favourite football team is playing.

Is it me, or does he seem like he doesnt have a care in the world?

I have wanted to bring up the issue of the relationship, but at the same time I dont- i really dont. I want him to put in some effort. When I got back, I thought I'd leave it up to him to bring it up. But he hasnt. Fair enough- he may be taking his time. I do not have a problem with that if I felt a little better about the situation, if I didnt feel so sick. But I have had enough of this limbo. I have had enough of him not seeming interested. I am sick of all this. I really just want to call him and tell him we needn't have a chat because Im not interested. Because Im not.
I think I'd only reconsider if he tried to win me back- but I doubt he'd do that. He hasnt so far.
I mean, he hasnt even bothered to arrange to meet up with him. He hasnt said he has missed me. Nothing is there. Its empty. Id prefer it if he just left me alone. Im comparing this to the lasttime I went on holiday almost two years ago- he called me every day despite it costing him so much. He came to meet me at the airport when I got back. When I got back he told me he loved me. Its so far off what we have now. We dont even have anything.

Is he waiting for me to bring up the chat? Ii just dont have the energy to do it. But if I dont, itll drive me crazy.

He doesnt seem to care that he has almost lost me. I would like to ask him that.

But I am leaving everything up to him now. All the calls. All the messages. Everything. If he wants me, he is welcome to try to win me back. But for no longer will I put in any more effort. Does he not get this?
[QUOTE=happymom28;3209724]Hi AJ. Please do not take this wrong way because I am not trying to be cruel, okay.

Stop dealing with him! You are both playing this "I don't care" game in the hopes that the other one will show they care more and try to win them back. Enough is enough already! He is who he is. You are who you are. The bottom line to all of this is [I]YOU ARE NOT COMPATIBLE[/I].

The best and most healthy thing you can do for yourself is to delete any way you have to get in contact with him (phone number, email, etc..). This will keep you from contacting him in a moment of weakness, which we all know you have frequently. Then, do not answer his attempts to contact you.

Put your money where your mouth is. If you are tired of all the drama and headaches then stop it. You have the power to end this. It's either you put an end to it and move on with your life or accept that this is the kind of dysfunctional relationship you and your boyfriend (ex-boyfriend, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, etc..) will have.

I wish I had the power to make you stop it but I don't. If you only could not contact him for a whole month and just move on with your life you would see how silly you have been acting. You and him are equally creating all of this grief. Why????????[/QUOTE]

Thanks for replying happymom.

I know the solution is just so clear.
But either way, for closure, Id like to talk and reach a decision but I do not want to intiate the conversation.
Do you think he will bring it up? He is calling me all the time. But he acts like he just doesnt care. Or am I taking things the wrong way? I dont think so. Hes been out with friends for the past couple of days- not arranging to see me. he mustve really missed me. im bored at home today, nd he is at home listening to the radio. just great, isnt it?
I put in so much effort, but during my holiday I realised I couldnt put in any more effort. So Im going to sit back. But at the same time, why should I sit back? I mean, I could bring it up but i really DONT want to. my friends tell me to relax and let him come to me. but why should i let his drag on? im tired. i know it'd be better coming from him but wil it ever? i would like a discussion and a firm decision either way.

i know what ive got to do really deep down. i just find it comforting coming on here to vent and talk. thanks.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:29 PM.

© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!