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Re: Mr./Mrs. Right
Sep 17, 2007
[QUOTE=Chubbycheeks;3211679]What i am getting at is that sometimes we need to give our partner a break. sometimes we expect that they should automatically give us what we want, or if they make a mistake then he/she must not be the one because he/she crossed us...sometimes people screw up is all![/QUOTE]

Well, I may be biased, but I think younger people are more inclined to do this. I'm over 40, and people of my grandmother's generation hardly ever got divorced. They forgave adultery, domestic abuse, all kinds of things, in fact, women couldn't even vote until my grandmother was a teenager, and a man beating up his wife wasn't even a crime. IT was something that just wasnt' talked about. Men had to have a wife so he could have someone to cook and clean for him, and make a nice home and throw dinner parties so he could entertain his boss and clients, and women needed a husband to have someone put a roof over their head and clothes on their back and provide their food and medical insurance, etc. since most women worked in the steno pool until they got married, then because housewives. But today, people have way more choiced than they did back then. People marry for love for the most part, and love and happiness are more important considerations than they used to be. Wome dont' stay with men who beat them nearly as much as they used to, becaus they don't have to anymore. Men dont' get married just so they can have pressed pants on Monday morning and a hot dinner on the table when they come home from work. Things are different now. Plus, I think younger people have a more callous, emotionall detatched sense of sex. They work really hard at trying to take all the love and emotional connection out of sex and reduce it to basically a recreational sport. And when you do that, all respect goes out the window. And how can you have forgiveness and patience, tolerence and commitment and loyalty where there is no respect? Everyone is so busy trying to be strong and trying to show the world how they don't NEED to be with someone, and it's become so politically incorrect to say that you're unhappy about being single, and you NEED someone, that we're all working overtime at showing each other how much we don't need them, so it becomes easier and easier to kick someone to the curb. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. There are many young women here who take a shocking amount of mistreatment who refuse to leave harmful, damaging, bad relationships. I don't see the same number of men, but a few men as well. You should never stay in an unhealthy relationship, but a lot of people take it to such an extreme, that yes, you're right, they dump someone for the smallest infraction and they don't believe in giving someone a second change, because the catch phrase of the day is "move on." "get over it." How many times do you see those phrases in regard to relationships? It's all about how fast can you dump someone and "move on." We as a society no longer feel responsible for each other's feelings. It's sad that the pope even had to pass down the 10 commandments of road rage, one of them being "feel responsible for each other" because people in our society today, just don't. If someone lies to us, uses us, plays us for a fool, breaks our heart, it's no longer their job to apologize and make amends, somehow it has become our job to "just get over it and move on." Did you know that back when my mother was young, most states had what were called "heart balm" statutes, and most states, for example, if a young man promised to marry a young girl, then took her virginity, then went back on his promise and didn't go through with marrying her, her family could sue him for breach of promise and other things, I kid you not. People were held responsible in a way they aren't now.

I think fewer and fewere people are staying together because there is no NEED to stay together anymore, the only reason is love. And I, for one, would never settle for anything less than the deep, lifelong, can't live without each other, Paul and Linday McCartney, Johnny and June Carter Cash kind of love, (Johnny died 4 months after June did because that's how much he just didn't want to be without her) totally devoted, never apart, partners in every sense of the word, happily together till death. And that just doesn't happen to everyone, it's very very rare, and not everybody gets to know that kind of love in their lifetime. I don't believe you can just decide to love someone like that. You can decide to settle for someone and you can decide to commit to them no matter how unhappy you may become, but you cannot just decide to love someone like that, and there is no magic behavior you can adapt to make them love you back the same way. That kind of love, is a blessing, a true gift, that God either decides to give you or not.

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