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Relationship Health Message Board

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Unfortunately you may never know why hon. I can understand where you are coming from here. I met my (ex) best friend when I was 5, so we have a 25 year history. Like your friend, she had her struggles. I also had mine, but I was always very good in school where she struggled with a learning disability. I always found boyfriends or guys who wanted to be my boyfriend and she would constantly get screwed over. She my 6 year old's Godmother and she has always called her auntie. She was my biggest supporter when I went through my divorce a few years ago. Then I met my now husband (through her) and she really didn't like it too much. She started dating his roommate and they moved out of state together. Then she developed a nasty drug habit and she kept it from me. We still talked on the phone, and she eventually came back. We still hung out and all the while she hid this drug problem from me and her entire family.

Long story short, I got married, became pregnant, had a cancer scare, and she disappeared. She stopped answering my calls and there was just nothing. This went on for 6 months until my youngest was born. She came by the house to see her once and she was acting very strangely. Then nothing again. 4 months later her aunt passed away and I went to the wake dead set on not speaking to her but to pay my respects to her parents that were always so good to me. That is when I found out she was in rehab. I still tried to be a good friend to her. She has been home for 9 months now and she is constantly blowing me off. There is nothing else I can do on my end and I have finally accepted it.

This is what you need to do, as hard as it is. You just have to accept that she views you as her strength when she struggles and when she doesn't need you in that way (like now) you are the last thing on her mind. Maybe I'm wrong, but that is how it seems. She is finally in a place where she is feeling successful and she wants to enjoy it and not compare herself to you. That isn't your fault. You are just two different people now. 15 years is a long time to have a friendship, but even the strongest can fade over time.

I don't see how you could try to get the friendship back. If you must try to seek an answer why then send her an email and just ask her. Be prepared for the fact she may not answer you, and be ready to move on. I know it hurts, trust me I do, but it will get easier.

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