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[QUOTE=Larrylou'smom;3216002]Well, this is just my opinion, but it seems like a kind of unhealthy dynamic for a relationship to fall into, "hey I did this for you, then you have to do this for me, then I'll do this, but then you have to give that up for me" etc. If you truly would "gladly" give up all the things he wants you to give up like friends, your cell number, the magazines you read, your public page, whatever, then just do it and you shouldn't care what he gives back in return. You don't "gladly" give up something expecting something in return. Because in that case, you're not doing it to make someone happy or just because they asked you to. You're doing it to get something back from them, and I think that's a kind of game playing, a type of manipulation, like "ha, if I sacrifice this, this is big, then I can guilt, con, cajole or coerce him to sacrifice THAT, and then I'LL be happy!" It's not really to make him happy, but to make yourself happy, and it sets a competition up in a relationship that I think is ultimately harmful.

Yes, I agree, it is a two way street, but you can't FORCE it to be a two way street. He either wants to "gladly" give up things for you as well, or he doesn't. If you are truly, sincerely happy with him in ALL other aspects, and you trust him, you believe what he says, and you feel he does respect and love you in all other ways, then this one situation, I'd say since it's clear he's never going to see your side of it, if you want peace between you, you're going to have to just bite your tongue and take it. But to be honest, this doesn't really sound all that healthy to me, either.

You say I did hit the nail on the head as far as what you're feeling regarding this old fling of his and the fact that she's still in the picture. Well, if that's how you really feel, then I would guess that you're not really as blissfully happy with all other aspects of the relationship as you claim. I suspect that it really bugs you that he's not as willing to accomodate your needs and he's not as willing to do things to "make you happy" as you are willing to do for him. I suspect you have a sick feeling in the back of your mind that you love him more than he loves you. IF this weren't the case, then it wouldn't bother you that he wasn't at home wringing his hands pining for you during the break up/break, but he was off having a fling with this girl. If you really believed him, deep down in your heart, and knew when you looked in his eyes that he's telling you the whole truth when he says it's over, it was nothing, they didn't even have sex, it's nothing for you to worry about, then you wouldn't worry about it. If he's really all that great, I don't think you'd be wondering whether you love him more than he loves you. And I suspect there's more to it than just this girl. I could be wrong, but I just want to make sure that you are indeed looking at the whole picture.[/QUOTE]

sorry, i didnt choose to ignore it, i had to go back because one of your posts popped up when others did and i missed one.
anyway when u say there is more to it, well there kind of it and i dont know if this has affect on the situation. i met my boyfriend through his best friend. his best friend and i had a 6 months relationship. that ended, but i didnt get with my current boyfriend till a year later and he was the one that persued me. he chased after me for months, but i was still into my ex(his best friend). when we had this so called break thing that i initiated(not sure if i made that clear) i tried so hard to catch up with him during that time. 6 weeks into the break, my ex calls up and wants to catch up so we went on a casual coffee date. i had a 21st to attend on a boat and i could bring a partner. i so wanted to take my current boyfriend but because he chose to ignore me, i took the ex instead. so if i mention the work fling, he goes, well u took your ex to this 21st, couldn't u have taken a female friend instead. but as soon as i took the ex, he came back to me. the ex and i did nothing. we just hung out. he wanted to kiss me but i refused. i only took him because after phoning my boyfriend for 2 months, i gave up and decided to take the ex who got in contact with me first.
[QUOTE=happymom28;3216191]Shorti, I'm just curious but what was the reason for this "break" in the first place and how long did it last? Oh, and who initiated the "back together"?[/QUOTE]

we used to go to the movies on a friday night. i would go to his work to meet him. i was sitting at his desk with him while chatting to a work colleague of his. he was eating sardines and he told me to take his plate to the kitchen. i said im in the middle of a conversation. he went on to say i was lazy. i was extremely embarrassed. when he drove me home, i was crying. when we got to my house, i said i dont know what to do anymore, i need some space. i was upset, i said it spur of the moment. i messaged him 4 days later, no reply, so i phoned him a week later. i kept messaging him but he said he was busy. then he invited me to a bar with his work colleagues. this girl got really really drunk. so he took her home with him instead of keeping her stranded at the bar. then his best friend contacted me(my ex) so i caught up with him after not seeing him in a while. the boyfriends like so i hear ur going on a party cruise with ric. hope u have fun. then a week later we caught up and got back together. the thing is in the very beginning we didnt fully commit ourselves. i didnt plan on being with him, it just happened in march last year. the only deal we had is we cant sleep with other people as we were having sex. its after this stuff with this girl that we fully commited ourselves to boyfriend/girlfriend status. this girl only started working with him the week the break was initiated. shes only been there a year.





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