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Thank you in advance to those who read this

I met a guy three months ago and we started dating within a week. He was new to my friend's company, and she told him that I am a serial dater (I actually had 4 new dates the week I met him which he knew about), have never had a boyfriend, and am high-maintenance in the fact that I am traditional and expect the guy to pay for everything, hold doors open, etc. He was apparently okay with this as he is a more traditional tye guy.
From the beginning, he was at my place 6 nights a week; when we were not together, we were always on the phone and text messaging. I was having slight freak outs, b/c this 'couple-y' stuff was so new to me. I didn't want him to make me dinner, I was anxious when I had to get ready for work in front of him...but over the weeks it did get easier. He was quite supportive about this. I would have been fine seeing him once a week or so, but he loves spending quality time with people in his life...this was a major adjustment for me as I am a very independant woman, so I tried to be supportive of his style and spent as much time with him as I could.
He did say he was holding back from telling me things (about his feelings I guess) b/c he didn't want to scare me off. But he left me really sweet messages quite often which I enjoyed. My flaw number one: I have a VERY difficult time expressing myself, and I only express what I trly mean. Case in point: within the first week of us dating, on my way to work, he said "I'll miss you"....well to me 1. I would never say I miss you after one week, mostly b/c I probably wouldn't. How can you miss someone after one week of knowing them? I mean if he dumped me then, I could pretty much get over it right away, he wasn't that big a part of my life (i guess i am a very practical person); and 2. saying I miss you after 1 week is not likely real. thats the lust phase. i won't reciprocate expressions like this b/c I only say whats real, not fluff; and 3. i figure if i am there and spending a lot of my time with him, thats a physical expression i like where things are and i'm not freaked out.

so....anyway....it kinda came up again and i said he was at this point in our relationship disposible to me. I said it in a joking way, but i also said it to keep him on his toes, and i also said it b/c it was true. I stopped saying it after we got more involved.

He said some stupid things to me too, but in general, i thought our relationship was about 90% good.

he took a cross country trip and called me every day. he came back, we took a couple of weekend trips, etc. everything seemed great.

Then...I started noticing our conversations becoming only superficial. gone were those sweet messages, gone were deep conversations. I asked him a few times what was wrong, and he said "nothing" in a light-hearted way, so I knew he was lying...maybe he didn't know how to articulate what was bothering him, maybe he didn't recognize a problem, but regardless he denied everything. I asked him what was wrong a few times and on a few occasions, but I stopped asking b/c I felt like I was nagging.

About two months into our relationship, I got a job offer in a different country and I was really excited about it and talking about it a lot. I think that upset him. Which, looking back, is understandable. I am just really not used to making other people a priority in my long-term plans, so thinking of his feelings baout me talking about it was not a natural step for me. Around this time he also started travelling for work mondays - fridays, and was home on the weekend.
Because I had been spending all my weekends with him (I work full-time, have a part-time job, volunteer 15-20 hrs/week, and am taking two courses), I needed a weekend to myself and to spend with my family whom I hadn't seen for a while. I was feeling pulled in so many directions. I made plans for the upcoming weekend while I was in the car with him (on the phone with my family/friends), and I think he was upset I wasn't making him a priority that weekend since he would be home. When he has control over planing his business trips, he does it on my busiest days so we can be together while we are both free, and I obviously did not do that for this particular weekend.

So, he goes away, barely calls me, while I am calling him every day. I understand he is with clients, but come one, calling me everyday (even while going cross country), to calling me once that week? And again, I ask him whats the issue is, and all he has to say is that he 'agrees we were both busy'. seriously?! he wa very inconsistent on the phone with his weekend plans (plane landing at different times, etc) but we made plans for sunday night.
So, it dawns on me, maybe he was upset about me making my own plans for the weekend. Like I said earlier, I am not used to relationships and putting others first. I would have preferred him to say "you're being an idiot, make me a priority' or something like that. Admit that he is feeling like second choice, if thats what it is.

I decide to email him (b/c he was apparently so busy, I didn't want to interrupt) an apology. It was a long one. It was vulnerable, heartfelt, and nothing like i've done before. My usual response to this would be to run.
I received no response. he did not call me a few days later when he got back from his business trip....i was so stressed that weekend (didn't know if he got in an accident, was super stressed about school) that my stomach was aching and i was in bed for three days. I messgaed him for our sunday night plans...i asked if he was mad at me...no response.

Turns out he did arrive home safely (my friend saw him at work). I called him on the tuesday and lefta vm that i don't know if something is going on with him, but this is the last time i amgoing to contact him. he calls back saying he was going to ask the same thing....blah blah bah a week goes by back and forth on the phone, and i find out he did not receive my text, but he did receive my email. i am so hurt to think that i apologized and he didn't even acknowledge it. he still wasn't admitting something was wrong.

so now...its been two weeks later...everybody in my life who has met him did not see this coming...i think he is hurt, but now so am i. i dont know if i should try to contact him (i have tried more last-ditch efforts more times than I mentioned) or let this go. I miss him, I miss the way he treated me, but I hate the fact that he doesn't communicate well. If we were to get back together like this (i'm not entirely sure we are completely over but I am 90% sure), am I going to be so paranoid about him just picking up and leaving again that I won't be able to trust him again? how do i get it through to him to communicate with me better? I just don't know any more.....

any advice? comments? Its the first time I've been dumped and I'm very sad....





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