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Re: Update
Oct 2, 2007
I really couldnt let it go. So I mesaged him for his address, although I could have found it online easily. Eventually he replies with only his address. I send a reply back (bare with me): "I found your address nline. Youll get it through the post soon. Expiry date has run out but theyll still let you use it. I will be receiving a new numner. You wont get it. Not that you want it. Enjoy your life Im so thankful not to be in it anymore. I couldnt stand another minute with you."
It felt good so I sent another. Immature perhaps, but I couldnt help myself, I really couldnt.
"So, are you hapy? Youve done a lot of hitning, shame you didnt have the balls to do it the right way. Youre selfish.Id love a response from you to laugh at but youll give me nothing. U cudnt have replused me anymore than you did on wednesday and seeing (the guy who i decided not to date to give him another go) him made me realise what a big mistake i have made- my loss there im afarid. but youve also lost something good. goodluck in finding it again"
I fall asleep because it is late. I wake up to find messages from him on my phone:
"I dont know where this has come from. Iv been nothing but straight with you all along. No games from me. so i didnt call, nor did you. youre just playing the victimn again. just leave it and save yourself from dignity"
and he sent another: "Im not a coward. Ive been saying I wasnt sure and didnt want to get back for 3 months now. I was fed up of telling you, it was getting painful."
What bull - crap!
I sent him: "How painful was it not to drive to my place that friday or just not to have kissed me or to have said breaking up was what you really wanted. I didnt force you to kiss me. I didnt force you to make that decision.You liar. Youve messed me around. I always said that if thats what you had wanted id respect it- didnt i? i dont want to be with someone who doesnt really want to be with me. You havent been straight and I could have handled that if you werent so crazy. dignity? i loved you and thought you were confused. i did nothing wrong. take a look at yourself. No game playing? Nno messing around? Yeah thats how it was!!! what did you say on that friday? kiss me and we will give things another go. gross. one of the countless examples."
he messaged me: "what is so hard to understand that getting back together would be ok but im off for two months then my final year then ill move away to bristol or brighton for a job. it just wont work.its not easy making these decisions."
By the way, my sisters boyfriend lives in brighton and she sees him four times a week. it isnt far.
i send him: "as i said a million times, its your decision. too bad you had to mess around and not work at the chance you had. it would have worked. but it wouldnt work now because i understand the real reasons behind this. i thought i could make you see those werent issues. but they never were the real issues. anyway, your loss hun, youve lost me for good."
he has tried calling me a few times but i have ignored him. I seriously couldnt handle hearing his voice or having another conversation with him. Id go crazy. I will not go over the same thing. He wont have anything new to say. Nor will I. Ive said it a BILLION times. Shame hes lost it.

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