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Relationship Health Message Board

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Re: Step Kid
Sep 28, 2007
Like it has been said you may think you are hiding yoru resentment but trust me you arent. Kids are far from stupid like many adults mistake them for.
They see and feel more than you know. The rest of this is going ot sound harsh but it is all spoken from experience.
Im a mother of two boys but there is a third that lives in my house. My nephew lives with his dad and they both live here. It is women like you that I fear the most now that my brother is finally starting to date. My nephew deserves the best just as my own boys do. I actually push my brother to find women that have kids so that hopefully the kind of thing you are putting your SO and his son through wont happen to my nephew.
I should also mention my brother and I were in your SO's son's shoes with our so called mother and step father. The sad thing is this so called mother chose her husband over my brother and I and when I was 9 and he was 7 we were sent to live with other family. Granted it was the best thing since the step father's resentment of us had boiled over into physical,mental,and emotional abuse. So just because your SO chooses you it doesnt mean a whole lot. It could come down to him resenting you for putting him in the position to have to make that choice. Then the son will resent both you and his father and you dont want that.
Above all this isnt fair to the child. You have a well behaved child who is totally innocent yet you resent just because he is in your SO's life. If you truly do love your SO then maybe look into counseling to be able to come to terms withthe resentment and find a way to get rid of it. You may not think you need it but be honest with yourself and really look at this. An innocent child is being resented just because he was born before you got involved with your SO.
Another idea is try being in your SO's shoes and think about how you would feel if you were the one with a child and your SO resented him/her.

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