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I don't know. I guess I'm hoping for some kind of advice here.

One of my friends said, its your own decision. I know that. But... I'd still like some input and thoughts from those smarter than me :-)

We are both around 26. Been together 3 years, living together for two of those.

I've always kinda questioned my relationship with M, but lately two things came up that have freaked me out. One was that I got a letter from the rental company saying its time to renew our lease. We have until Nov 1 to let them know if we are staying or leaving. And, I was at my friend Amanda's wedding this past Saturday. One of her friends (who I slightly know, through her) comes up to me and says, "So I hear you are getting engaged in November," I wish the friend was drunk that said that. LOL. M mentioned this week he was going jewelry shopping with his sister during lunch one day. I didnt even ask what for. Did I really need to? He asked me a few months ago if he should get lunch with my dad sometime to talk to him. Yikes. Ok so you get the picture there.

This is it. Last year I had the same debate on whether to stay, but this time it is so much more serious. Its like, I leave, or stay and get engaged!

I know I've complained about him a lot, and lately I cant think of anything good about him. And I actually am trying to find something to get mad at him about these days. :-/

I just want to mention a few things, tell me if he is a normal guy! LOL.

We haven't gone out to dinner in forever. Sure, we've been with his friends, or others, But just us? It was prob Valentine's Day. Blah.

This year on my birthday I had plans to go to a club w/my friend & her boyfriend. M cooked me dinner, but said he really didnt feel like going, so I figured I really wanted to go so I would. Well, as I was getting ready to leave, his friends called. And guess what? They were at the club. So guess what! He changed his mind and said he'd go down with me. How damn nice of him!

I went to a bar w/my friend, her bf, and his friend and didnt tell M who I was with till I got home. I guess he was jealous? He told me if I ever go out with them again (meaning w/the friend too I think) that he would lock me out. I said I have a key I'll call the cops. He said go ahead. Meanwhile, the bf and friend are around 40 or something, so geeeez.

One time we were having a conversation about self esteem and how I was not happy. He said, well I have enough confidence in myself that if you ever break up with me I'll find someone else.

The past two times I have asked him to meet me and my parents for dinner. He agreed. Each time, about 3 hours before, i get a text message. I believe one was, I have too much homework, the other was, I'm too tired. After this second time of (kinda) being stood up my mom actually said, dont even ask him to come to dinner anymore. He wants nothing to do with us. Grr. He used to come to dinner, but lately (this was like twice in 2 months) I guess not.

Dislike him yet? :-)

Once I was in the bathroom gettting ready for work and he came in. I jokingly said, well if you wouldve told me you were getting up early, I wouldve been done by now. He kinda pushed me out, locked the door! and called me a F*ing B****. Maybe he was grumpy, but I dont know.

And how healthy is it, that we call each other an ***** almost every day? Seriously. Who does that? Seems normal over here, but thats not nice.

This Aug, I went on vacation w/my parents for a week. We got home Fri night and the plan was my mom was going to take me home on Saturday. I had a head ache most of the ride home from SC. I called M and said please pick me up at my parents! He asked what time I would be there. I said 8 pm. Almost 830 and no M . I call. "well i didnt know you'd be home so early, i'm on the bike at my friends and would have to drive home to get the car and drive to get you. thats almost 2 hours of driving" I say ok come get me at 11. At this point my mom retrieves me from downstairs where I'm crying. She tells me she hates to see me sad :-( and she wishes I had a relationship like my cousins (who we were on vaca with). She then says, you know, you can always come home. Anyway, I get in the car and not more than 5 minutes later M tells me I ruined his weekend. (i guess he was planning on doing homework sat so fri was his free night) He told me I was selfish. (ha!) I said, didnt you miss me? He said yes, but I couldve waited until tomorrow too see you.

So since then he hasnt done much that terrible, but whatever. He's a meanie sometimes!


What do I like? Umm... he cooks dinner, we do rent movies sometime, dont really go out though... he's kinda funny, sometimes makes me smile. :::sigh:::

He's not home very much. Got home about 11ish every night this week. Had class 2 nights until 9, but still went over his friends after. Was home for dinner tonight, but back out to work on his car.

He thinks I am too sensitive. I know I am, but.... he jokes around day with me and kinda teases me. Makes me feel bad. I tell him to stop. But noo. You're just to sensitive. Maybe, but I still said stop. I'm not saying I'm perfect at all. But I think I want to be happier than I am right now. Can I be?

I dont know. I am SO stressed. I really dont know what to do. I havent been eating or sleeping well since this all came about this weekend. People are work think I look pale! ha ha

I love him so much. It was a really good thing I moved out of my parents house. I learned and grew a lot too. I am thankful for that. But every since we moved in together it has just been blah. Is that normal?

I dont want to leave and have the same thing happen in the future with someone else. I'm scared to make this decision, and hurt him, and feel lost.

Thats all I have time for now, but do I need any more?

Let me know what you think. Should I give it a chance? Am I too picky?





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