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[COLOR="DarkOrchid"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Hey, [COLOR="Magenta"]Rainbowbrite77[/COLOR] :wave: I just got done reading the whole thread. This is some complicated stuff your boyfriend has got himself into!

Firstly, I don't think you should send that message to your boyfriend's ex. What if she is trying to steal your boyfriend? What if the baby is a smokescreen - an excuse for her to weasel her way back into your boyfriend's life? You say that the baby looks nothing like your boyfriend. I bet the mother has an even better intuition about who the father is; the paternity test smacks more of an excuse to spend time with your boyfriend than anything else to me :( All this time spent with your boyfriend could enable her to snare him whether he turns out to be the father or not. I've seen it happen; not necessarily like this, but where a guy suddenly realises his head's been turned without seeing it coming.

So if you send that message and "interfere" in the private affairs of your boyfriend and his ex (as they will see it), you will push him closer to her. I think it would be best if you distance yourself from the ex and demonstrate that you are by no means threatened by her. If you are confident that your boyfriend is not the father of her baby, then this episode will all soon blow over. But if you wade in and act insecure then this ex might start playing her trump cards before the game is up. Ultimately, you've got to decide whether your boyfriend's behaviour is acceptable to you. He is hurting you and he doesn't seem to care. If the pain gets too much then don't put up with it. Move into a friend or relative's place if you can and demonstrate that you've had enough of this duplicity.[/FONT][/COLOR]
[QUOTE=happymom28;3253428]
I agree again. You can't "steal" somebody who doesn't want to be stolen in the first place. Yes, what this girl did was wrong, but he was just as wrong for behaving the way he did. Why are some women so quick to forgive the man they are in love with and put all the blame on the other woman anyway? Did you ever hear of the saying "it takes two to tango"?[/QUOTE]

I agree with this as well. I don't know why, but for some reason women just can't seem to unite and stick together the way men do with their "bros before hos" mentality. women simply don't do that. They would gladly throw their best friend under a bus for the sake of some loser man who will only leave them 6 months down the road anyway. I guess we just value that euphoric feeling we get when we're in love, we'd sacrifice anything for it, even our friends. Though, I've also heard many women say they would never work for another woman, that they hate to have women bosses. Well, I've had many women bosses over the years, and I've never had a problem with any of them, but then, I have no problem with seeing another woman as a superior, and I think many women do. They think "hey, you're just a woman, just like me, where do you get off telling me what to do? that's a man's job." which I think is rather silly, but there are a lot of women who feel that way.

My brother has a friendwe'll call her M, who was out with her boyfriend at the time in a bar, and this girl, who I think her boyfriend knew casually from somewhere else, came up and sat down in their booth and started flirting with him right there in front of her. The girl was snuggling up to M's boyfriend, all this stuff, and she put her arm around his shoulders and M grabbed her hand and threw it off her boyfriend and shot him a dirty look and he just gave her a silly grin and a look back that said "not my fault, what do you want ME to do about it??" Anyway, M ended up in a knock down drag out fight with this girl, punches, pulling hair, and M's friend who was bartending, dove over the bar and joined the melee, getting cut by a broken bottle in the process. How silly. when all of that could have been avoided by M just saying "Honey, you like attention from her so much, she can be your date tonight, and any other night you like. See ya." Fortunately M learned how to do this very very well in her later dating years.





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