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[QUOTE=leeleelanilou;3264085]Do you have a friend who could be discrete & follow Jim? I can't imagine what you're going through right now feeling all alone in this. I have a great friend who knows everything, a therapist & a shrink.
Statistics show that if a spouse has cheated on their ex, they will do it again. Sorry, that's what I've read. As far as I know my husband has been faithful to me, we started dating when I was 16 & he was 19. However, his Dad ran around on his mom for years & years. I don't know if that influences a son or not.[/QUOTE]

Leelee and Happy mom, my best friend is going through a divorce and is leaving our little town. I haven't even elaborated on things with her, since she is going through so much. I did mention that I was worried about Angies attraction to Jim and my BF instantly put the blame on angie and said that Jim is completely in-love with me and that he wouldn't cheat on me. this is the impression he gives everyone, of how he feels about me. She cannot deal with my problems right now. The 3 other real good friends that I had here moved away. there were some company mergers and buy-outs a few years ago and about 5000 people got laid-off. the people that I had become good friends with were not from here, like me, and that is what drew us together. I have acquaintances from Little League, but none that I would confide something like this in. I was moved here knowing no one. I was going to leave when I got my divorce once school and LL were over for the summer that year, but then I got involved with Jim and ended up staying. It's not like I really had anywhere else to go anyway!
Also, it is hard to follow Jim, his shop is in the country, down a road that you would not just happen to be on. The shop is in the country because it is not the type of business that people come in for, the customer calls and Jim goes out with samples and measures and gives an estimate. So they put the shop out of city limits down a country road, so they don't have to pay city taxes, his bosses (not Angie) house is on 20 acres behind the shop. Jim is rarely there for long periods of time and comes and goes at different times every day, because he estimates and does home remodeling all over our state. there are days when he does 5 different estimates in 5 different towns. and I don't know exactly what town he will be in each day. sometimes he gets pissed because he will get to work and his Boss has change his jobs around to different days. And alot of it depends on when the materials arrive at the shop, where they will be from day to day. He also does not bring the CO truck or phone home so I cannot snoop through those. i told you guys this wasn't an easy one! I think what I will do is tell him I have a doctors appt OOT one day and actually rent a car, buy a blonde wig and try to follow him myself. But the chances of me being able to track him on that particular day are gonna be hard. He has way too much freedom with this job!:(
As for him being a repeat cheater. I did know about the one affair and I told myslef that I would be everything that his first wife wasn't and I was until I got sick. I did everything for him that he said that she wouldn't do. Plus I had met people that knew Jim and his first wife, even relatives of HERS have told me how awful she is, and they don't know how he stayed with her as long as he did. even her own Father told Jim that he was the only man that would have put up with her. We got a bridal shower and wedding invite from HER cousin 2 days ago in the mail! Her entire family lives here and they are always wonderful to both of us. Even her parents have stood with us after the kids sports events and chatted with us. And she has never re-married, everytime she gets a boyfriend it last about a month and then they leave her. She is a lazy spoiled brat, and her Mommy and Daddy do everything for her. So I honestly felt (like everyone else did) that she was to blame for their marriage failing. (not that this was an excuse to cheat) and of course he said that it was just talking, not physical. But now I see for myslef what even this type of affair does to a relationship. Nikki

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