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Relationship Health Message Board


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So here is my story for those who haven't read any of my other postings...

I got married early because I was pregnant. My husband is a good guy, a great dad, and he keeps me in check because we are so different. I would say he is a good match for me - as a companion, but not a lover. See, I havent been in love with him for a loooong while. I enjoy his company most of the time, but we can't talk anything "deep", we haven't kissed in forever, and I am always the one to reach for his hand, a hug, or whatever.
Sometimes I get sick of it and I throw a fit... other times I just hold it in. But yes, the lack of affection in our relationship really bothers me.
We do have sex on occasion, a few times a month I guess, but by now they are mostly physical rather than romantic encounters. I learned to deal with all this and I was doing really well until...
Well, I started having feelings for some other person. He had a girlfriend at the time and, although he was more affectionate than my husband is even then, it was nothing but a goodbye hug here and there for a long time (I am talking about almost a year) but lately the hugs have lasted longer.. he started kissing my neck on occasion, hold my hand, etc.
Today when I saw him he hugged me as usual and he asked why my heart was beating so fast. I said I didn't know, but he held me there for a while. I went in and talked to the person I had come to see and when I went to say goodbuy he hugged me again and then he kissed me. Just a little kiss, but enough to make my head spin...
I don't know what to do. It is not that I live a bad life with my husband and I don't know what being with this other guy would be like after a while... we are a lot alike (stubborn!) but it is SO good to feel some affection for a change. I've been married for 8 years and we have 2 kids... I dont want to ruin it for them, but even though it is not a miserable life it is also not very happy... at least not for me...everyone else seems to be holding on ok - maybe because I am so good at hiding my feelings from them..
Argh, I don't know what to do!!





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