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Relationship Health Message Board

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First off, I hope that the mention of intercourse here doesn't throw anyone off or cause the moderators to look twice at my post...I am simply asking a question pertaining to a relationship and why I am unsatisfied with it;) on-

I have been in several relationships and by no means am I very experienced, but I have discovered a few things that make them work better (for me).

I recently met a girl who is pretty much all I could want in every aspect except for her attitude and/or willingness to engage in intercourse. Some women seem very into it, and initiate it more often than I do. The problem is, she never initiates the act, and when it does happen I have to pretty much kick start the whole ordeal. I'm not sure if she is just insecure about her performance or what the deal is:confused: . I have this awful feeling every time we do it, that I forced her against her will. Like maybe she wasn't really into it, or she didn't want to-but did just to please me. (Wether or not she actually enjoys the act is not the issue-I know this for certain with reasons I will not mention here)

I don't want to have to feel like this, and she is very hard to talk to. She is one of those girls that just doesn't talk that much when it comes down to a serious issue. I really hate for this to ruin the good relationship we have, but I don't know what to do. I am a very sexual person and I hate to say that I feel unsatisfied in that area, but that is the case (Unsatisfied in that I feel like she doesn't always want to).

I don't want some of the people here to think that because of what I said, intercourse is the only thing that matters to me. It isn't. I find a lot of traits about partners interesting, but that specific trait (willingness to initiate) does wonders for me. Now I am seeing and being able to compare different attitudes and character traits of different girls because of the few relationships I have been in. like 4 serious relationships..

What could I do to maybe talk to her more about this or what could I do to allieviate the problem? ;) Thank you for your responses.

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