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Relationship Health Message Board


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Ok, I have to be *really* honest here if I want actual help.... There is one other issue.. and to be honest, I guess it's pretty big. To make a long story short, I have a friend that i've known since we were about 12 years old, and basically have a history with. He was my first boyfriend, we lost contact, then 10 years later reconnect and dated again. But at the time, it was during a "break" from my last long term relationship, and because of all that drama I ended up leaving him and getting back with my now ex. Anyway, I don't see him anymore, don't talk to him on the phone, but we talk on an instant messenger from time to time and I still have *some* feelings for him. To be honest, I don't know what these feelings mean. I don't know if it's just a warm fuzzy from fond memories, or if it's because we've known eachother for so long, or if it's something more. And I know he feels the same. I would NEVER act on anything, I wouldn't even put myself in a position where something COULD happen, but he is still in the back of my mind. I have to say, that if things did end with my current, that we probably would end up trying again.. Not to say that it would work, but we both have some sort of feelings for eachother and it would only be natural..

THIS scares me.. I've heard "There is always going to be that 1 what if person".. but, I just don't know to what extent that normal "what if" is.. Do you get what I mean? I seriously feel absolutely horrible and i've talked to my mom and sister about this issue a little. My mom told me "Well it didn't work out for a reason"... and my sister said I should cut off contact completely with him. And that thought really depresses me. He is the one person i've been friends with the longest and that I still care to be friends with. And for me, being as shy as I am, friends are hard to come by. My boyfriend knows of this old guy, and actually met him before we met, but of course i've never told him that I still have some sort of feelings for this guy. I know he senses something though, but it's an issue we just don't really talk about. We have in the past though...

So all of these reasons are why i'm freaking out. My boyfriend really does treat me like a princess and he's wonderful and my family love him...and I love him. But I just have all this stuff on my mind thats starting to make me wonder.. :(





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