It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


[QUOTE=Chez19;3280053]Ok well here's a new question for you all: If 2 people are in love WITH EACH OTHER, is it possible for either of them to[B] truley[/B] move on? What makes the love "go away?" We can do all these fantastic individual "single" "moving on" things but are we wasting our time?.[/QUOTE]

I think you're going to get many different answers to this, because I don't think there's one right answer to this. It just depends on what kind of person you are, and how you experience and process emotions. My ex broke up with me, also he didn't love me back, he said he thought he did but he was wrong, so moving on for him wasn't that hard, but for me, it has proved pretty impossible. I've dated many men over the years, and have gone out with friends, done a lot of volunteer work, changed careers, moved, gotten a new pet, taken classes and seminars and seen three shrinks, and nothing has made me stop loving him. I've tried to make the conscious choice to not love him anymore, to crasp and accept that he was wrong for me, that he's happier with the woman he ended up marrying than he ever could have been with me, that I wasnt' all that happy toward the end, blah blah blah, but I still miss him. I still burst into tears whenever I see or hear something that really reminds me of him. I think for me, it's the fact that I never found another love to replace him. I think I could have gotten over him if the right man for me had come along. I just wasn't that blessed and lucky. Nothing else I've tried had helped at all in making the love fade. Hopefully you'll be luckier and more successful in that endeavor.

but no, I don't think you're ever wasting your time in trying to move forward with your life and not just sitting and stewing in your unhappiness. That's never a waste of time.


[QUOTE=Chez19;3280053]Because in my situation for example, my boyfriend is the one that broke it off. But i've asked him several times to look me in the eye and tell me he's not in love with me anymore. He can't do it. Now I'm obviously still very in love with him regardless of the fact he's screwing me around and i'm VERY ANGRY........:mad:
But what's going to keep us apart in the long run? Can "will power" really overcome the desires of the heart? He says that "we're too different". Does love really care about that just because you stay away from them for a while?
.[/QUOTE]

That's the excuse my ex gave me as well, we're too different, not compatible enough, etc. In his case, yes, I think he used will power. He made it into a choice, me or his values, and he chose his values. Or at least he claimed to. I will always be confused and never really know for sure what happened, because many of the things he said he couldn't compromise on, he married a woman with many of those qualities he said he would never want in a woman. But even though I'll always be confuse, I know that it's really not important for me to know. all I need to know is that he made the choice to leave me. It doesn't matter why, that's his issue, to be happy with or regret, or whatever. I have no control over that. You'll drive yourself nuts trying to figure things out that have no answers or that you have no control over. He may love you still, but he feels like he has to make a choice between loving and being with you, or being free from the conflict and drama and whatever other unpleasant things he feels are being caused by the incompatibility. He's not comfortable, he's not happy, and that's all you need to know. It's not your job now to figure out why. It's your job to just accept his choice and get on with rebuilding a life without him that you can feel good about and be proud of.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:18 AM.





© 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!