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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Thank you both very much for your feedback. Your 100% right now I just have to keep this in the back of my head. I did ok yesterday. After I read both of your replys I bit my tongue all day. But the only thing I have a really hard time with is the smoking issue. What do I do? Continue to watch someone I love dearly kill themself with cigarettes??????? I can't stand it anymore! It has only been like 3 weeks now after being good for a long while on the patch. But the slight metion in that direction sets everything off :(
You are doing well. As to the smoking...most people don't get off the fags the first few times they give it up. Nagging won't help with this or any other addiction, if it did, then addictions wouldn't exist. I really don't think you will solve this one, and that is OK (remember, 100% responsible for you, 0% responsible for anyone else). The smoker has to come to it himself. Insist on your non-smoker's rights, like do it outside, don't breathe on you, shower and wash hair before coming to bed, etc etc, but without judgement of the habit. Hand over the responsibility for the habit to him, and stop being a mother. This is for your own sake. Sera
[QUOTE=Eeyore1973;3258374]But the only thing I have a really hard time with is the smoking issue. What do I do? Continue to watch someone I love dearly kill themself with cigarettes??????? I can't stand it anymore! It has only been like 3 weeks now after being good for a long while on the patch. But the slight metion in that direction sets everything off :([/QUOTE]

Well, my husband is a smoker too and I completely understand where you are coming from on this issue. Unfortunately you can't make them stop no matter what you say or do. They have to want to stop, just like with any other addiction.

Do he smoke in the home? If so, you could tell him that smoking indoors is no longer acceptable. It is your home too and you have the right to have it smoke free for your own health. Luckily my husband has never been one to smoke indoors because he can't stand the smell. But if he ever tried he knows I would put a very abrupt end to it. Not only for my health, but for the kids as well.

If he smokes outdoors then I really don't know what I can say to help you. He is doing it away from you and it is his choice what he does to his body. I guess like everything else you have to find a way to let it go.





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